Chained To My Rival

The fear of rejection

The Fear of Rejection
Chained to my rival chapter 5

Natsu thought he had sorted out his feelings for Gray... kinda. But there was no way for him to actually tell Gray. No way he could suddenly confess to the ice mage how he felt about him and everything would change from them being rivals to being boyfriends. However that did sound nice...

"Natsu, you're zoning out again!" he suddenly heard the voice of Happy coming through his daydreams. He snapped out of his dreaming and looked up at the blue cat. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something."
"Was it Gray?" Happy whispered and Natsu looked around to see if Gray was anywhere near "Happy, not in the guild. He might hear us," Natsu said as he looked around again and saw Gray nowhere near "But yes, it was about him."

Happy giggled as he had busted Natsu in daydreaming about Gray, he definitely had a huge crush on the raven haired ice mage. "You lllllllllike him!" Happy teased the pinket who blushed a scarlet colour and covered the exceed's mouth with his hands in an attempt to keep him silent.

When Natsu removed his hands again, Happy came closer and whispered into Natsu's ear. "Now seriously Natsu, are you thinking about confessing how you're feeling to Gray?"
Natsu shook his head. "I can't... I'm scared of how he will react. I don't wanna lose him as a friend too..."
Happy looked down sadly. "But you have to be true to yourself Natsu. It's gonna rip you up from the inside if you lie to yourself and keep your feelings hidden..."
Natsu patted the blue cat's head and told him "Don't worry about me Happy. I'll be just fine."

But days passed and Natsu found it getting harder to conceal his feelings for the raven haired ice mage. When he entered the guild and saw Gray, he felt his heart flutter. And when Gray talked to him or challenged him to a fight, he got distracted easily and had a harder time just talking or fighting normally with the ice mage.

Gray didn't seem to notice and just brushed it off as a weird phase Natsu was going through; but in reality, he would never have thought that Natsu would ever fall in love with him.

But Happy noticed that however Natsu had said that he would be okay, he didn't seem all that okay to Happy. The always cheery attitude the dragon slayer had, was getting more and more of a façade, a mask he put up to cover the pain and fear of being rejected when he would confess his love to Gray.

One evening, when Natsu was lying in bed, his tossing had awakened Happy, who turned towards Natsu and snuggled his face a bit more into his chest. Natsu looked down and patted the head of the blue exceed. "Hey," Natsu whispered in a voice hoarse from the lack of sleep "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry...". Happy shook his head and looked up to Natsu's face with his big black eyes "You're suffering, aren't you? I can see it..." Happy told the pinket whom's façade crumbled down for a bit. "Is it that clear?" Natsu asked.
"Not to other people, but I know you the best Natsu. I can see right through you like an open book. And I can see you're hurt and that you want nothing more than just confess to Gray how much you love him.

Natsu pulled the exceed in for a hug and hummed "You're right. But there is no way I possibly can tell him without destroying everything. And I'd rather be able to be close to him and feel like this, than be rejected and pushed away by him."

Happy nodded, he understood all too well what Natsu was going through. He himself had been struggling with the denial of Carla rejecting him almost every day.
He snuggled his head into Natsu's chest and after a while, the blue exceed could hear Natsu's breathing become even as an indicator that the dragon slayer had finally fallen asleep.

Days passed like normal for the rest of the guild but Happy could clearly see how Natsu tried to get closer to Gray to, perhaps gain some of his affection and hopefully make the raven haired ice mage fall in love with him.
But Happy also knew that it wouldn't be as easy as it seemed for Natsu and he just hoped that his best friend found happiness.