Suicide Box

Chapter 9

Six years later, her glove could no longer be forced onto my hand. At first the box was placed in a wooden chest and locked, the cloth had been replaced with rope, the tape had been replaced with a hook, yet that glove was the only item in my suicide box that I had not discarded. More had changed inside the box than in my life- I still continued to feel like the failure and the weakest link.

But then, at seventeen, I met this girl. This girl didn’t love herself, but I loved her, and she loved me. It wasn’t instantaneous, and there were no fireworks or rainbows, but with time she would remove the noose id felt hanging loosely around my neck. I could tell you about how we met and how much we’d grown together with each other’s help. I could – but you asked about my suicide box.

So I suppose I’d have to say that gradually, in the years following, the items would shift in my box again. The rope was replaced with a bracelet she made me, the hook with a painting she made for my birthday. And soon the box was full. But there was one item that I was yet to discard. And I needed a place to hide the ring that I was preparing to present to my girlfriend. I had a decision to make.