I wake with the thoughts of love, something I seem to think about often. I feel empty. As if I have so much love to give but none to give it to. I'm disappointed that I didn't use my looks when I was younger. I didn't, I used it for sex. I'm 40 years old and I have never had a good relationship. It's quite sickening. I'm disgusted with myself. I want love now that I'm old, I just don't see it happening.
*
I walk out of my trailer and yawn, I just threw up my hair and put on a shirt and blue jeans.
"Oh Ryan there you are!"
"Yeah, meeting is in 10!"
"Alright. Karen!" She comes running up.
"Will I have a assistant?"
"Yes, that woman over there."
"What's her name?"
"Lizzie."
"Lizzie!" I yell and she comes running.
"Sorry ma'am I was trying to find you an-"
"Yeah yeah I need coffee in 10, before my meeting. I want it decaf."
"Yes ma'am."
*
"Thank you." I say as she hands it to me and we walk into the room."
I walk in and sit down.
"Hello everyone, please welcome Jessica Lange, who I'm very honored to be working with."
I smile and wave. He introduces everyone else but I honestly just ignore him. I look up from my daydream to a young man walking in late.
"Oh sorry I'm late." He says quickly and shakes everyone's hands.
"Evan." He says winking and shaking my hand.
"Jessica." I say hoarse. Oh my god look at this man.... well kid.
