Heart to heart

Poem- "I'm Fine"

"I'm fine"

I say with tear soaked sleeves

Bloodshot eyes

My voice wavers

"What's wrong?"

They ask

I try to hide

It doesn't work

The cracks start showing

I tell myself

They can't see

They can't worry

It's my problem

No one else's

They can wonder and wonder

But I never say

What you don't know can't hurt you, right?

The less they know, the less I hurt them

It's my system

It works

For now at least

I only show the tip of the iceberg

My smiles, my joy

Underneath is so much more

An entire ocean to explore

Hidden just out of reach

Where's my joy now?

Where did my motivation go?

How can I fix myself?

I care too much

I care too little

It's a cycle

Burning bright and then fading dim

How am I supposed to feel?

Because this is not it

I am not how I should be

Day after day

Same routine

Never changing

Akways hiding

My failures stack up like a mountain too tall to even imagine climbing

My successes drown in the waters that are left below

What am I?

Who am I?

I am a burden, or so I think

I am told otherwise, but where is the proof

When they are wondering where my failures are

I wonder where my successes are

I am isolated

Lonely

My only company the misery inside my own mind

It loves my company apparently

Enough to keep coming back

It wants to keep me down, deprived, depressed

It feeds off of that

I let it because I don't know anything else

Who would be able to fix this?

Especially when I cannot fix others

I feel useless

I feel like an outcast

I do have a group, but I don't feel like I belong

A lot of them don't even like me

I'm alone in a world surrounded by so many others

As much as I say

"I'm fine"

I'm not really sure if I am