A Little Messed Up

Maybe I'm Afraid

Melanie's POV

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As I woke up I noticed I was in my living room. Seriously? How'd I get here? I saw Lauren come in with tear stained eyes. What happened to her?? There's a few things you need to learn about Lauren

1. She's a die hard Green Day, ACDC, One Direction, and Black Veil Bride fan.

2. Touch her food, you become her food.

3. Make her mad, she has the mouth of a sailor. (I won't even tell you what happened when Meghan called her fat. It wasn't pretty......)

4. Mess with her expect to go to the hospital.

As you can probably guess she doesn't really cry.

"Lauren?" I asked her softly as I walked up to her.

"Hey Mel, what's up?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Lauren I know you're hiding something. What is it?" I asked stopping in front of her.

She looked at me with guilty eyes.

"I don't know what your talking about," she told me lying through her teeth.

"Lauren you better tell me now," I said with force.

I then noticed her gaze was intently set on my left wrist.

She knew?? Oh no this wasn't going to go well. Another thing I forgot to mention about Lauren was that she used to self harm and she hates it when other people self harm. That's why she won't go out in a bikini, she didn't want anyone knowing so she cut her stomach. I eventually found out and Nick and I convinced her to stop. Now looking back on it she finds it stupid because she is going to be stuck with the scars for life.

"I can explain...." my voice trailed off.

"You said everything was fine!" she screamed at me. Okay I deserved and expected that, but the next thing I did not.

"You are so stupid! How could you even think to do this! You know that these scars won't go away, and you knew you could have died cause you were there when I almost bled to death!! So why did you think it was okay to just go on and tell me everything was fine when clearly everything wasn't!!??!!"

"I just wanted the voices to stop yelling at me," I told her whispering hopelessly.

I was staring at the floor intently feeling like a little kid getting grounded by their mom, one memory I had going for me. I didn't have a mom who cared or loved me, but I know what getting yelled at by your mom feels like cause it happened every time she saw me. Yelling at me about how big of a mistake I was.

Lauren did the least expected thing, she hugged me.

Literally! Lauren does NOT hug people.

"I'm sorry for blowing up on you. It's just.......when I saw your scars I remembered when you found mine and tried to get me to stop, but I just pushed you away and ended up going to the hospital because I cut too deep," she said while holding me, "How long have you been cutting?"

"I started a year ago when Nick was diagnosed. I know I shouldn't have started, but I didn't know what to do,I felt so guilty for not being there," I told her hopelessly starting to sob.

"It's okay, you have me and we can get through this together. But Mel I need you to answer this question completely truthful and serious," she said pulling out of the hug and putting me at arms length to look in my eyes.