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Chapter 8

"Listen," Adam said. "You don't have to go in if you don't want to."

Through the fog, I looked to the brick structure that was East Monroe Academy, and couldn't bring myself to get out of Adam's patrol car. I kept picking at my nails, needing to just pick at something— to constantly be doing something in an effort to no think about Sierra. I curled my shoulder length hair with such precision, in an exceptional amount time, because I couldn't sleep.

If I wasn't sleeping, I was thinking and if I was thinking I was going to spin myself off the edge. And what good was I when I've dived into the deep end?

Sierra needs me.

Sierra needs me.

Sierra—

"Hey—" Adam interrupted my thoughts. "Snap out of it. This isn't your fault."

I turned to him. He looked funny when he had to wear a rain jacket over his uniform, like a blow-up fish. All those layers of protection and uniform puffed out that chest of his.

"They aren't doing anything," I said, quietly. I was afraid if I spoke too loudly people would hear me and look at me funny and then everyone and everything would be different. I didn't want that. "It's been four days, and not a single thing has been done."

Adam sighed, almost apologetic. "They are, Ry. It's not like the whole town is going to pull out their flashlights and start playing hide and seek. They have to keep themselves safe, too."

That's what should be happening: Us working together as a community. What are we doing hiding behind the safety of our locked doors and shutting everyone out? Whoever is out there... we need to show them that we aren't afraid.

"Yeah, well it really shows how much they care."

Adam gave me that look; that look of thinking that I'm better than everybody else. He gave it to me when he needed me to understand that my way of thinking wasn't the same as everyone else's, but I obviously knew that. I'm not as naive as the man thinks I am. 
 "At the station, they're doing everything they can," he said. "She isn't the only one missing you know."
 "I know that, Adam. It's just... I can't live like this. I can't walk into this school not knowing where she is."

She could be in pain, held hostage somewhere, cold and broken or maybe even—

"Like I said," his voice was gentle, kind, patient, "I can take you back home, Ry. But it'll be quiet, and I've known you your whole life. You should walk through those school doors."

He meant I don't ever shut up, even in my own head. "I'm already two hours late."

"At least you showed up." He gave me a crooked smile, with those thin dark lips. Adam's smile was a contagious thing, infectious to any living body.

I smiled back. "If you're late, I'm not cooking dinner."

He arched an eyebrow. "Not gunna test it."

The cold autumn air shook through me as soon as I stepped out of the car. I bit my lip, trying not to let the cold remind me of four days ago. Today won't be easy, and definitely not pleasant, because if Jaxon were a smart man, he would've fled town.

If he hadn't, well... that's his grave.

****

I only had two classes that morning before lunch and those classes did close to nothing on helping me forget. It's almost as if a dark filter had etched itself into the faces and places of this town, the wickedness of what this world actually was starting to take shape before us. The hallways were gloomy, the way time moved was like through murky water.