All the Wrong Reasons

3. Backslide

3

To lapse morally; To drop to a lower level, as in one's morals or standards; To revert to a worse condition.

Translation:

Backslide

She woke up before dawn, quickly got dressed and took off from Justin’s apartment across her own.  Then, she washed her face and soaked in a hot bath to clear her head. 

She stared at her own body.  Almost every inch of it, had been touched by the city’s most wanted bachelor—Justin Adams.  She couldn’t believe that she went overboard last night.  She looked for fun.  For oblivion.  Losing her virginity on a one night stand with a hotshot playboy is way over what she had in mind when she started out last night.

He was sound asleep when she left him this morning.  She woke up and she was locked in his embrace.  She moved inch by inch so she wouldn’t wake him up.  He moved a bit when she was out of his arms.  And then she quickly dressed up, took her sandals and marched barefooted across the hall.

She still felt a bit sore.  But she didn’t feel guilty at all.  She didn’t feel like she didn’t have any values.  She didn’t even feel that she cheated on Troy.  She felt that none of the emotions and thrills that she felt with Justin last night, she felt with Troy. 

It was the first time in her life that she felt alive.  That she felt appreciated and adored.  And when she felt the pain of the impact of their lovemaking, she felt his concern.  It felt genuine.  She felt cared for.  She felt that she mattered. 

She remembered when pain was visible on her face, concern and guilt were in his eyes as he wiped away her tears and kissed her.  Now, she realized what he did.  He took off the condom when he realized she was a virgin.  Probably he thought, it will hurt her more.  Her body is not yet accustomed to sex.  He thought it will be gentler if he didn’t wear condom.  Probably, he also thought she was safe.  He need not wear protection.  And when he entered her again, he was so much gentler, until it didn’t hurt at all anymore.

A thought crossed her mind.  She was a virgin.  He was a rakehell!  She was safe.  But is he?  Adrienne shrugged the thought off her mind.  Justin Adams is most probably too smart and too egotistical to catch something.  He must be using protection all the time, not just to be safe, but to make sure that no woman can blackmail him into marriage.

She felt fine when she went to bed after the bath.  And this caused her to worry.  She spent the night in sin, but all that’s left were memories that she knew she would not mind dwelling on for some time in the future.

She was awakened by the ring of her phone.  “Hello.”  She said sleepily.

“Wake up!”  It was Jill.

“It’s too early!”  She told her grumpily.

“What time did you sleep last night?”  Jill asked.

“Why?”

“Because you’re still sleeping and it’s past twelve.  You never sleep past twelve noon.”