Two Hearts. One Love.

1.

C A Y L E N

I sit in the row of seats watching as everyone holds tissues to their noes as eyes as the weep.  I know i should  be doing the same but i feel nothing.  Nothing is coming out of me; no emotion, nothing to show my sadness that i should be showing.  I feel the presence of someone beside me but i cant draw my attention to even look at who i believe who has taken the seat.  I feel a hand being placed over top of mine as a calming reassuring gesture but i just feel as there is no point for this kind of gesture as i feel as nothing has happened along with no sadness. I move my hand away, soon wiping it along my black dress. My palms have gotten sweaty in the last couple of minutes. I look up as people look at me with pleading eyes.  The sympathy they have is something i don't want, something that isn't needed at this time let along anytime.  I don't need someone feeling sorry for me.  I watch as everyone starts consoling each other, the pity they have is making my stomach churning.  I hate that they think i should be sobbing in a corner or pleading for them to come back. I'm not, I'm acting normal as nothing happened as maybe my mind will catch up with what happened less then a week ago.

"Cay, please say something" I hear Aaron's pleading voice.

Aaron, my best friend since i was two.  Has he been here with me for awhile now, i don't remember.  I know he is worried about me as everyone else is but i just don't understand why they are, I'm fine.  So i understand that my parents have left me here alone.  But that doesn't mean I'm going to freak out and be an emotional mess.  I feel a hand grab mine, now knowing its him i feel more relaxed.  I look to him, his eyes are pleading for something; for me to do anything.

I stand up from my seat that i have been placed at for awhile now, i glance towards the caskets that my two loving parents have been placed in.  I notice my father's blue tie from my position, he always loved that tie.  I look away not wanting to be here any longer dealing with the sadness that feels the air. "Can you take me home?" I ask looking at him.  He doesn't say anything as he just nods, i lace my arm through his as we walk out of the funeral home.  I know that people may think im leaving to get away before i end up crying but the only reason i want to leave is the people have gotten to me.  The atmosphere is just to much.  He walks over to his mom talking to her about i really don't know, i have been spacing out not really grabbing reality anymore. I notice her walking with us to the vehicle.  I'm happy she parked close instead of down the road as most people have been forced to do. Getting into the backseat, shocked that Aaron has skipped his oppertunity on taking the front seat.  He sits beside me, i lay my head on his shoulder thankful for her being her for me.  I hold back the tears that soon rim my eyes.  he places his arms over my shoulders and i lay my head on his chest. 

I notice that we have pulled into my driveway.  This home that i have grown so fund of just doesnt feel like a home anymore. "Want me to come with you?" Aaron questions.  "No, i'll be only a moment" i say reassuring him. He nods before letting me out the car, he takes the seat up front beside his mother.  I walk up the familiar driveway, knowing this is the last time i will see everything.  Memories flood my mind of my mom and dad sitting in the front yard with me as we looked at the clouds.  It was something they never asked me why i done it they just joined along. I smile lightly at the memory, knowing that everything seemed yet so perfect. They never asked questions about my choices they only supported me with everything that i believed i wanted to do.  I place the key in the lock before opening the door, the smell of cinnamon hits my senses. That smell was her favorite as she always believed it was the best sent to smell. 

I head up the stairs heading to my room, the room that has nothing let but a few boxes.  I open the door seeing the boxes placed on the bed, i look around it one last time.  Knowing everything that has happened hasn't really sunk in but as i glance around this room at the blue walls.  Those blue walls that were painted by me all of us.  I remembering have it everywhere as my mom just laughed. I step back letting my back hit the wall as i cant help but cry.

A A R O N

She hasn't been up there for awhile now.  I look out the window wondering if something happened, i get out off the car knowing that she needs me. I open the door heading up the stairs that i have grown common with, i see her door opened.  I knew she had a few small boxes left to get but i didn't think they would take so long to get.  I enter her room to her soft sobs, i glance around the room to see a dark figure siting in the corner rocking back and forth.

"Cay?" i question knowing she is the only person in the house.

She doesn't say anything as she continues crying. I slowly start walking towards her, her body trembles with each sob.  I knew it would hit her hard but i didn't know it was going to be this bad.  I sit beside her not wanting to touch her knowing that if i did i would either be pushed away or just yelled at for giving her pity. "I should have been with them." she finally speaks up with a sniffle.

"No Cay, you were lucky you weren't."

"Aaron, if i didn't ask them to go to the store this wouldn't have happened.  They would still be with me." With those last words she continues to cry, I've never seen her so broken down.  I place my arm over her shoulder, she lays her had on my chest.  She places her legs across mine as she holds onto me. I begin rubbing my hand up and down her back in attempt to calm her down.

"I miss them, so much" she blurts out.

"I know, i know" I say softly. 

Her crying soon dials down.  She raises her head to look at me, i smile down at her knowing whenever she needs someone I'm always there. Her soft lips land on my cheek before she places her head back on my chest.  She grabs my hand in hers intertwining our fingers, as the silence grows i feel everything is perfect in this moment.  "I love you Aaron" she speaks up after a few minutes of silence.

"I love you too" I answer knowing that the meaning behind those words are more then she will ever know.