Life, Love & The Forbidden

Empty Without You

Sara sat staring out of the window absent-minded. The class was silent as everyone busied himself or herself with a multiple choice test paper that they had been given to practice on. Sara's remained opened to the first page as she watched the grey clouds roll by in the sky. The wind brushed through the trees, shaking the orange leaves to the ground and swirling them into a mini torrent of rustling.

She was startled when a ball of paper hit her on the side of the head. She grabbed it and pulled it into her lap, posing with her pencil poised above the test paper as her teacher glanced up from his work to scan the room for cheaters. Happy that everything was fine his eyes fell upon his work once more and Sara's undid the paper ball quietly.

"R U Ok?" it simply said. Sara immediately knew it had come from her friend and looked over her shoulder to meet her gaze. She smiled and nodded, although it was forced, and her friend smiled back and resumed her test. Sara sighed as she returned her staring out of the window, the sound of a ticking clock filling her ears.

"Miss Tancredi," the teacher's voice resonated around the silent room. Students looked up in unison and their eyes fell on Sara. Her head spun towards the teacher with a questioning expression. "Is the test boring you?" he asked sarcastically causing a few childish boys in the back to snigger.

"No, I'm just feeling unwell," Sara lied. The teacher squinted at her suspiciously. As a member of the faculty he was used to all sort of excuses for leaving a test but as he studied Sara's pale complexion, sunken eyes and clammy forehead, he decided she was not the sort who would need to leave unnecessarily.

"Ok, gather your things and head to the medical room," he told her and Sara complied. She stuffed her folder into her shoulder bag and slid out of her desk, throwing the carrier over her shoulder. She gave her friend one last smile as she turned the door handle and slipped from view into the hall.

The halls of her high school were deserted. Every student and teacher was in a lesson; tucked away in a room that was an identical replica of the one Sara had just left. Her shoes squeaked on the tiled floor with each step as she made her way down the halls to the nurse's office. Sara knew she was fine physically but there was no cure for what she felt like inside. She was just going to the medical room for some time alone.

She rapped lightly on the frosted glass window and waited. "Come in," a cheerful voice called from behind the door and Sara pushed the door open and entered. The school nurse was old but not elderly, no doubt a deterrent to stop teenage boys from feigning illness, and she smiled constantly. Her tight premed grey hair sat on her head in a short, archaic style. "Sara Tancredi?" she sounded surprised to see the future doctor in her office.

Sara just smiled and clutched at her bag strap nervously. She hated when people used her full name because it reminded her of her father and who he was. And right now she especially hated to be reminded of her father. "What can I do for you?" the nurse asked, perching on the edge of her desk and interlocking her fingers together before resting them in her lap.

"I just needed to lie down for a while," she told her, wiping her forehead. The nurse looked her up and down, her mouth shifted sideways on her face as she thought about the request.

"Sure thing," she said with a smile. She reached behind her and fumbled with some square sheets of paper on the desk. Picking one up she signed it and handed it to Sara. Sara stared at the pass in her hand before folding it in half and thanking the nurse. The medical room was actually a few doors down from the nurse's office so Sara hurried to reach it before the bell rang for break time.

The door to the medical room creaked open. It wasn't used much, Sara could tell by the smell. It smelt like old books, musty and dank with the faintest traces of vomit hanging stale in the air. It had a window but some thin cream curtains that had been stained by dust and time repelled the light. The bed was messy and reminded Sara of a hospital bed, but it was inviting and she dropped her bag to the floor and slumped onto it.

There was no pillow and the harsh fabric of the sheeting cooled her face. It had no colour, being a plain white material, and it was covering a plastic waterproof mattress cover. It crinkled as she shifted her weight and closed her eyes against the bed. As soon as her eyelids met, the bell for break rang out across the halls and children erupted from the classrooms.

Sara's head pounded when the bell rang and her headache throbbed behind her eyes. She groaned lightly, poking a finger into one ear to block out the temporary invasion. It failed miserably and she admitted defeat, dropped her heavy arm back down on the mattress. A few second went past and her cell phone began to vibrate on silent mode in her bag, rattling against her pencil tin.

Sara's eyes flew open and she scrambled for her bag. Rummaging in the mess that was her class notes and lunch, she pulled out her phone and her heart skipped at the name on the display. A wide smiled spread across her face as she slid of the front to accept the call and pressed it eagerly to her ear. "Hey Michael," she breathed excitedly.

"Hey you," he cooed with relief, pressing his eyes closed. "I've been worried," he admitted quickly, his voice deep and soothing down the phone. Sara hugged at the phone, leaning her head into it as if it were Michael's hand.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. Talking to Michael after everything her father had told her a few nights ago was overwhelming. He knew what her father had said and was very understanding but was finding it hard not to call her every day just to hear her voice. Sara had neglected to mention the fight was about her age simply because it wasn't important to their relationship.

"Hey, Hey," Michael soothed as he heard her breathe hitch. "Please don't cry," he begged, as his soul was ripped apart.

"I miss you so much," Sara confessed as she wept in the empty room. It was a metaphor for how she felt right now. Cold, dark and empty. Michael's eyes pressed together, a single tear escaping them. He hated how she felt because of him.

"I miss you too Sara," he told her, his own voice cracking with concern. "God, I wish I was there to hold you right now," he admitted in frustration. He hated being away from her but Sara had assured him that after a few days her father would forget about his new rule and they could be together again. A few days was too long for Michael.

Sara grew warmer inside as Michael poured his heart out to her. "Sara I don't care who your father is, I need to see you today," he told her in firm desperation, his heart outweighing the risk his mind calculated.

Sara smiled as her tears ceased and she wiped her nose on a tissue she procured from a box on the tiny table inside the room. "At the park," she blurted quickly as the door creaked open. "I have to go," she breathed sadly. Michael groaned on the other end of the phone before hanging up. He couldn't say goodbye, it was too much like goodbye forever.

"Sara?" the nurse asked as she popped her head around the door to check on her. Sara wiped her face with the tissue once more but the tear had stained her cheeks. Sara thanked the poorly lit room that hid her crying from the nurse. "How are you feeling?"

Sara gave her a weak smile, taking in a large breath. "Better, thanks," she stood from the bed and hung her bag back over her shoulder. "I think I can go now," she told her as she walked towards the door. The nurse studied her face in the dark before resting a caring hand on her shoulder.

"Take the rest of the day off," she smiled giving her shoulder a light squeeze. Sara felt giddy with the excitement of seeing Michael without having to creep out of school as well. "I'll clear it with your teacher's," she finished.

Sara thanked her again and her eyes welled up in an emotional reaction caused by her earlier outburst. Luckily she managed to retain her tears and rushed through the busy halls towards the front doors. She pressed two flat palms to the metal hand plates on the large wooden doors and pushed them both together. They swung open and the outside wind cut into Sara's bones. She crossed her arms and buried her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. Taking her phone in one hand she started a text message.

"Meet me now xxx," it said. Send message to: Michael. Message Sent.