You Killed Him

All Black

“This can’t be happening. It can’t be real. It must be another dream. I have to wake up”, I told myself. “Why would anyone want to hurt him?”

My father guided me to the sofa while explaining Vincent’s death. He said Vincent was back in town the night of the party but he was staying in a motel. Around 7a.m., my father received a call from the police saying a body was found with Vincent’s ID and he needed to verify it. According to the cops, the approximate time of his death was 2a.m. “We don’t have a lead on the suspect yet. They’re still trying to search for evidence that would point us to the killer.” I sat next to my father as he tried to comfort me. I didn’t want to believe him. It was so surreal.

My dad sensed the unusual silence. “Kayla, I know this is hard for you. You must be in so much pain. I know exactly how you feel, okay? He meant as much to you as he does to me.”

“Yes, I am in pain”, I barked, “So can we stop talking about it?”

I grabbed my blanket and my phone and without making eye contact with my father, I ran upstairs, into the confined walls of my room. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted everything to be normal again. I felt lightheaded. The hangover, or at least what I thought was a hangover, and the news of Vincent’s death was too much for me to handle.

I checked my phone – 3 new messages. The first one was from Colin. “Heard about Vincent. I’m really sorry. Stay strong, Kayla. See you later.” The other two were from Nate. “Just found out about your brother. My deepest sympathies. Call me when you get this message.” That was three hours ago. There was another one saying, “If you need to talk, you know where to find me”, one hour ago.

I threw myself on my bed and grabbed the nearest pillow, sighing to myself. My eyelids felt so heavy. I allowed them to close, bringing me into a somber. I was glancing at a neon pink thong I don’t remember having on my bedroom floor. I thought of the worst possible scenario. “Eww, gross. No more parties for me”, I muttered weakly before drifting off into a deep sleep.

3 weeks later, I was having breakfast with my dad. Vincent’s funeral was scheduled in a few hours. “It’s not going to be a grand funeral. Only close friends and family would be there”, my dad said.

I refused to speak. If that was the reality, I was reluctant to let it sink in. I stared at the white wall in front of me. So clean, so innocent, unharmed. Why would anyone want to hurt Vincent?

I had to wear something black. It wasn’t easy because when I opened my closet, I had so many outfits to choose from. I couldn’t believe it. With so many things going on, I still spent so much time choosing an outfit. After changing my clothes thrice, I finally settled with a black tank top with black jeans. With some makeup on, I grabbed my leather jacket and my phone on my way out.

It was a very sunny afternoon, not meant for an event as gloomy as a funeral. Several men in black suits with shades were already at the cemetery. I followed closely behind my father as we got out of the car. I kept my eyes on the green grass, feeling uncomfortable surrounded by unfamiliar people.

The other people who were already there gave their condolences to my father and I as we approached the coffin. It had been so long since I’ve met my brother and in a few more steps, I was finally going to see him, just in a way I had never imagined.

‘R.I.P. Vincent Carson’ was engraved in the photo frame that stood on his coffin. I leaned over to get a good look. He lay in his coffin, ever so still, with his eyes shut. His skin still looked radiant, not grey. I guess the morticians really know how to do their job well.

I stood next to his coffin, motionless, for a few minutes until I was startled by an arm around my shoulder. It was Colin. I put my arm around his waist. It felt good to know that I still had someone there for me.

“Can you believe it? It’s so sudden. I wish someone would explain why anyone would want him dead”, I whispered, my voice breaking every few syllables. “I understand how you feel, Kayla. He was almost like a brother to me too”, Colin said.

Everyone gathered around Vincent’s coffin as the priest conducted the burial. He led the final prayer as they lowered the coffin, now closed, into the grave. Everything was so smooth flowing, like it had been rehearsed many times, over and over again.

When the ceremony was over, I backed out of the small crowd to allow myself some space. I bet everyone there felt the same – sad and depressed. I could definitely live with less of those feelings. I just wanted to get away, to escape. And that’s exactly what I did.

I took one final look at Vincent’s grave, his tombstone and the flowers that looked so fresh, turned around and walked away. I was hoping no one would see me because how could I explain why I was leaving? Sure, I could say I just wanted to be left alone but what if I was asked where I was headed to? I had no idea where I was going.

I sauntered slowly through the park nearby, trying not to think about Vincent. I wasn’t even thinking of where to go. My legs just continued walking automatically, like they were programmed for a certain destination.

I found myself near a stream. There was a tree house not too far away. As the sun was setting, I had to find shelter. I would never have made it back home before dark and I didn’t want to go home. I crept into the tree house that looked abandoned for a few years already. The structure, however, was still strong. I felt a shadow move behind me but when I glanced back, no one was there. “Must have been an animal”, I told myself.

I tried making myself comfortable in a corner but i felt something hard underneath me – my phone in my back pocket. I took it out and checked the notifications. There weren’t any messages or calls but a continuous beeping sound reminded me that the battery was about to die out.

I didn’t mind not having a functioning phone. I wanted to be alone, undisturbed. The past 3 weeks had been a nightmare for me and I hoped it would end by the time I awoke the next morning. Another two beeps came from my phone and then the screen went black.

Suddenly, I heard light footsteps approaching my location. “This can’t be good”, I thought.

------i might not be updating every week from now on. classes have started and one week isn't really enough. heh. but i'll try to get it done within 8-10 days. 

let me know what you think in the comments. there isn't much description but if you'd like, let me know and i might add in more details in the upcoming chapters.