UNMARKED

30: Return to the Mountains

Soon, the wind seemed to whisper across Blayre's face as though the mountains were calling her from afar. Once Caval was cleared by the medics, Blayre and her Triad would be on their way to Mountainvale - under the pretense of undermining whatever illegal activity was going on there in producing crystals. Caval, she suspected, intended to stretch the limitations of their assignment, to search for the legendary dragon caverns that he had read about.

Trusting him sent Blayre's nerves into a frenzy, like erratic fireworks. But she had to do it. He'd had a point. She just needed some time...

"Lass," Rory's voice rumbled behind her as he approached, a reminder that time was what she didn't have.

She turned to him, "Rory." She forced a small, wan smile.

"What's wrong?" He asked, picking up a loose strand of her hair, and tucking it behind her ear, his ocean eyes brimming with concern. He worried about her well-being and she hadn't even gone to him right after the attempt on his life.

And to make matters worse, she was about to tear his heart out.

"Rory," Blayre swallowed. He was so close that it felt as though he was taking all her air. This was making things so much more difficult. She pressed her palms to his chest, breaking her gaze away from the pair of eyes that would break her resolve - more like shatter it, into a trillion, irreparable pieces. If she didn't look at him, he wouldn't see the pain in her eyes. He could think her callous and horrible. And he could move on.

"What is wrong, lass?" He asked again and put his fingers under her chin. Damn him.

Their eyes met, and in that instant it all came rushing out in words and tears and gasping sobs. "Rory, I c-can't do this anymore. I am putting you in danger by feeling this way for you, and I need to stop before things get too far. Before something happens that I can't protect you from because of my d-distracted emotions." It all came out sounding like one long-winded sentence. "And - what we would be, because of who you are..." Her voice trailed off and she looked to the side, unable to meet his eyes. "You are heir to the throne. You will always be in the public eye. And, that just isn't who I am."

He tried to pull her toward him. To wrap her up in his strong arms, and Blayre wanted nothing more but to melt into him and that warm pine scent that was so distinctly Rory. But instead she pressed her hands against his chest, and pushed him away. Firmly. As callously as she could. "Rory. I. Can't." She ground out. "Please don't make it harder than it already is." This came out weak and quiet. It took too much energy to put force behind those words.

"I want to risk it." Rory said, his voice even softer than hers. "It's worth the risk to me. And I'll do everything in my power to get away from the capital. Because I don't want this either. Blayre, you know that." He cupped her cheek with his calloused palm.

She winced at how small he sounded in that moment - that large and powerful man. And at the pain in his words, like blood seeping slowly from a knife wound. As he leaned down to press his lips against hers, she broke away from him. Because if she let him kiss her, she would change her mind. If she could have, she would have taken a knife to sever their bond completely. Instead, they would both have to grieve and recover slowly and painfully from her decision.

It was the only way she knew how to let him go.

A life by the side of Rorrick de Vihrea, as more than just a bodyguard, meant a life lacking freedom, and choices. It meant a life in the spotlight. It was not a life she wanted. And she had made her choice. 

****

All things considered, Blayre didn't mind being in the mountains as much as she had thought she would. The cooler mountain climate wasn't so bad in the summer months, and it got her away from the palace. Away from people who would breathe down her neck at every inconvenient moment.