Dollmaker

Chunin Exams?

These children… They have no idea how hard I try to keep from killing them. Sakura is always staring at Sasuke, Naruto at Sakura, and Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei after me. It seems as though Sasuke doesn’t believe that I was an S-class criminal without even going to an academy, and Kakashi-sensei is waiting for me to break and kill someone. Which isn’t far from this moment.

Let me explain. Ever since we returned from the Land of Waves, Momochi-san, Haku, and I have been on probation. I have to be on a team with these idiots and Haku and Momochi-san have been interrogated and placed with constant ANBU guards. I believe that they got the good deal. Naruto has been so determined to defeat Sasuke in something that he nearly always messes up whatever we’re doing. So many times have I had to refrain from killing him…

We just finished the last mission and Kakashi-sensei has left me in charge of making sure that no one is harmed or killed before they split, which means I’m stuck with them. Sasuke has just told Sakura off, who in turn is telling Naruto off, which is in turn PISSING ME OFF. I sigh and put my headphones in my ears to try to calm down.

Something catches my eye. A small shape moving closer. Crappy disguise of a perfectly square rock with eyeholes, probably Academy students. I believe they are after Naruto, as he seems to be the only one that would hand around children like these. Naruto finally notices and, if I’m reading his expression right, knows exactly who it is. He walks forward and the rock follows. He runs, the rock runs. What amateurs. I pull out one of the earbuds.

He finally turns on them. “That’s the worst disguise of all time! There’s no such thing as square rocks. It’s completely obvious!” He yells.

One of the children in the box yells back. “You saw through my camouflage again! You’re slick, Boss. Just what I’d expect from my greatest rival!”

The box then starts to glow and my paranoid self is behind the closest tree watching. Smoke poofs out and reveals three children from the Academy coughing. “I think we used a little too much gunpowder, you guys.” They then launch into an introduction. They are Moegi, Udon, and Konohomaru. Anything else they say I’m counting as false or biased.

I pop out from behind the tree and onto the fence, seeing as its safe(ish) now. They don’t see me.

Silly question about goggles, stupid reasoning, Naruto failing at being cool, yada yada, something about Sakura being Naruto’s girlfriend, stupidity, Sakura punch, insult to Sakura, another punch and chase… better go save them. I follow.

Konohomaru begins to pull ahead and runs into a foreigner. He smells like sand and wood. A puppet user from Suna, dressed all in black and with a female companion, his sister most likely. She uses fans and has the same sandy smell. The guy in black asks if Konohomaru needs something. He then lifts Konohomaru by his scarf and my anger raises.

‘Probation. Don’t kill him. Unless he hurts the kid. Then it’s open season.’

“So, does this hurt, punk?”

His sister tells him to put him down before they get in trouble. Does he listen? Nope. Sakura apologizes. Does he put him down? Not a chance. Naruto commands him to put the child down. Maybe…? No. Three strikes.

‘That’s it, time to intervene.’ I use chakra strings to pull Konohomaru to me and away from the asshole in black. “Maybe you should pick on someone your own size, assface.”

He turns to me and glares. “Like you?”

I laugh and grin, saying “Nah, I’m too short. Go find someone else.” I set Konohomaru gently on the ground and jump back up to crouch on the fence. “Chunin Exams? If not, you’re a long way from home.”