Ch.2 - Just Walk Away
His brown eyes followed my gaze as I walked into his room. I was stalling, waiting for anything to stop this conversation from happening. He walked over to the door and closed it. A small shuffle could be heard outside the door, until Matt yelled, "Nicky, get lost!"
I heard Nicky run away and was forced to look at Matt. He peered down at me, and then led me to the bed. I sat down, watching as he pulled up his desk chair and turned it around, and then sat on it, his chin leaning on the back. He watched me for a second, and then finally said, "Just say something."
"No," was my well though out answer. I tried to look at him, but whenever I did I got his concerned gaze, following my every motion.
"Fine, I'll start," Matt said, his eyes forcing me to keep contact with him. "I hated it. I hated every single moment you were with him. I hated when he held your hand, when he put his arm around you, or when he kissed you goodnight. At first, I hated him because he had you. He had you, and I wanted you, and I couldn't. That was a good enough reason." Matt grabbed my hand and started rubbing circles on it with his thumb. "But then he thinks that he can talk to you like that? Hit you? Tell you you're worthless, stupid? Why did you let him do this? Gawd, Cass, I thought you told me everything. We're best friends, and I can't believe you didn't tell me. How was I supposed to feel when they said you were in the hospital because your boyfriend beat you until you passed out?
I remembered that night at the hospital, when Matt came to visit.
FLASHBACK
"Come in," I said weakly as Matt stepped into the hospital room. He slowly walked over, his face etched with anger and frustration. All I heard was the beeping noise of my heart monitor until Matt said, "you're so stupid. How could you do this to yourself? I thought you at least had some reason left after I found out he was badmouthing you. You should have left him there, instead of dragging it on, to this." He clenched his fists. I only just realized there was blood on him, and that he had cuts all over his face.
"What happened to you?" I asked, completely ignoring his questions, too afraid to answer. To be honest, he was absolutely right. I was stupid, I should have left. God, I'm so retarded. How could have Chris ever liked me in the first place, let alone Matt?
"I ran into Chris and a couple of his friends, but don't ignore the question," he finished, peering down at me. My heart monitor increased, as I got more and more angry.
"You did WHAT?!" I yelled, my voice carrying out of the room. Matt looked at me and said, "Well, you couldn't really expect him to get away with it, could you?"
"But this is a matter for the police, not YOU! I can't believe you would do this. Do remember what I said to you when I started going out with Chris?" Matt mumbled something, and then looked away. "What?" I said.
"You made me promise that I would never ever hurt Chris, even if he hurt you," he said, his voice no higher than a whisper.
"That's right. Do you remember why I made you promise this?" I asked, my voice steadily gaining volume.
"Because if I get into one more fight, I'll get expelled," Matt finished, even quieter, if possible.
"Come on Matt, you're calling ME stupid, when you're the one who goes off beating people up just for the fun of it!" I yelled, my heart monitor beeping excessively.
"Come off it Cass, the only reason I beat them up was because of you," Matt said, his voice getting louder.
"Because of ME! For some reason, I find that hard to believe. Sure, you may want me to think that you were, 'defending my honour,' or some stupid shit like that, but I think you're just looking for another excuse to fight."
"I think you and I both know the reason that I USED to get into fights. The only reason I got into this one was because I was trying to give him a little taste of his own medicine."
"SO BEATING HIM UP IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?! Come on Matt, grow up! This isn't a middle school game of, you poked me, so I'll poke you. This is different. This matters! You know what Matt, I'm done. I'm through with you, with all of this, I just want... I don't know what I want. But as of now, I want you to leave."
"Come on Cass," Matt said, cooling down from our little spat. "You may get agitated easily, but I'm not gonna give up this fight. Come see me in a few weeks, when you've cooled down. For now, I think you need to relax." I glared at him. He got up, placed his bag on the chair beside me, and walked out.
END OF FLASHBACK
Matt sat there after a while, once he'd finished his speech. I sat there, holding his hand, until I looked up at him, still a little unsure. He gave me a coaxing smile, and I started to talk. "He told me I was worthless. Stupid. A whore, slut, and a skank. He told me that no one should be forced to love me, and that no one could ever love me. He told me a lot of things, and for the longest time, I ignored them. Until the end, until he told me that he talked with you, and that you told him all those things too. That's when I started believing him. And when I started hating you."
"Cass, I never said those things. I never once said that I think you're worthless, or stupid, or a whore, slut or skank. It's the opposite. You're worth everything to me. You are the smartest girl I know, look ravishing all the time, and are beautiful in every way. You make me love you because you're so irresistible, and I just can't stop loving you, nor do I want to. You mean the world to me, and all those things he told you were a lie. I've never stopped loving you, and I probably never will stop." He leaned closer to me, his eyes willing me to forgive him, embrace him, and just forget about everything Chris has done to me. But, there's a small piece of Chris still inside me that made me say..........
