How To Sidetrack A Narcissistic Demon (Diabolik Lover FanFic) (BoyxBoy)

Yui~

–I–

Watching through the window on top of a tree. I see my bright eyed cutie get completely taken advantage of by the older red headed ore-sama. They always drink her dry to the point her skin turns a sickly color. I watch as she struggles but doesn't fight back making me sigh.

One day! One day she will fight back and I'll be there to cheer her on... well no I won't. If she fights back she gonna be completely murdered. I mean yeah I could take on one of those vampy boys but more then 3 of them and my head is on the wall as decoration, right next to the lion. I'll cheer her on though. Maybe give her a little extra power in her swings. I know a witch that would love to take my eye for some kinda witchy potion thingy. I know I'll look cool as fuck with an eyepatch.. but I'm not gonna give up my beautiful amber eyes just for this little girly yet.

Soon I get bored of this sweet little hopeless scene that happens every week. Tomorrow I'm gonna introduce myself. I'm sure she's gonna fall into my arms. I mean who wouldn't? My looks are at the tippdy top. My personality is amazing. I'm also an romantic. What person wouldn't want to just completely take me~ of corse this is all thanks to author-san. I love you author-san! Of corse, I love you more reader-chan~

I take a quick glance down at the window to see that my dear Yui left my sight. I sigh before laying down on the tree branch I've made into my personal little hideout. Everything I need is here. Liquor, Some fatty sweets, and of corse some lotion and tissues. I don't I need to tell you guys why~ I giggle. Wait--! I jump up sitting formally. If you don't know what I'm talking about. GET YOUR INNOCENT LITTLE MIND OUT OF THIS BOOK NOW! PLEASE! INNOCENCE IS SUCH A RARE THING NOW I WOULD LIKE TO PRESERVE IT FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE! Well.. I do like ruining people's innocence also. So read at your own pace you have been warned. I put a finger to my lips and wink.

"I'm really good at ruining people's innocence~" I whisper to myself and lay back down, happy and content with how sexy and cool I just looked.

The demon waits for awhile thinking of something to do to hurry along this chapter. He has ran out of ideas, maybe the author got their point across way to soon. Author-san likes to keep the time skips to a minimum cause it's less confusing.

"OH FUCK! I could talk about me... I'm sure darlings would love to hear about me as much as I do. It would make me extremely happy. Okay okay. Where to begin. How about my looks? It's the best part." The raven haired demon spontaneously jumps.

"My name human name is Pitt Romá my demon name is cursed so I'm not gonna say it. I have black soft hair that I usually comb it at least a 100 times. I use contacts cause for a demon I have terrible vision.. everyone has there weakness sweethearts~ I have multiple earrings and even have a nipple piercing because why the fuck not? My eyes are as dark as your shits when you hold it in for a couple of days. I'm 5 foot 9. I weigh 179 pounds of full muscle. It's really quiet sexy. I really wanna get tattoos but my demon skin is too tough and will easily break the needle. My flawless skin is slightly tanned because of corse I am roman.. born in the Roman ages. I don't remember how old I am I when my birthday is so don't ask. I've been a lady killer since I popped out of hell's vagina. Demons don't have mothers and fathers. Only our master, the devil, that pops us into existence to torment humans and feed our masters obsession. I've never seen our master but from what I hear he doesn't have a human appearance that he keeps for long before getting bored. Enough about him this is about me~ woah look we are already at 701 words and I haven't even talked about anything else." The pointy earred male breathes in deep before continuing.

"My goal in life is to own my own little island, where I can bring a bunch of cute little human animals. I would bring some demon animals but there kinda hairless and mean. I rarely visit the end world cause a certain angel is looking for me. I don't really wanna talk about him. I like to take my pleasures as they come. Demons can't fall in love but we easily lust over people. It can cause a lot of rape. It's all our masters sick plan. Cause you see the people that are raped are not likely to listen to god or they kill themselves.. and like the Bible says. People who kill themselves are not welcomed in heaven. Kinda harsh isn't it?" Pitt pauses and thinks.

"Let's talk about the end world.. or heaven and hell as you humans call it. You guys have it all wrong. Angels and Demons actually work together. We have friendly work completions at times to make things interesting in our long boring life's. Heaven and Hell is actually the same place. "Heaven and Hell" is something completely different their your dream or nightmare worlds. You either live in constant fear or pleasure. Well anyway~ I could go on and on about how wrong you guys are but that might make some serious believers angry. Never mess with those religious folks. Am I right? Or am I right? Okay I'm sorry that was cringe. I saved the best part for last. My life story.. it all started--" The demon is interrupted.

"Yeahhhhh we don't have time for that. Also you gotta stop talking about me." I certain lazy author whispers in Pitts head.

"Whaaaaaat? But this is the best part~ Author-san!" The demon whines.

"People love the mysterious and quiet type so shut up and let's end the chapter." Author-san hurries along the narcissistic demon.

"Ohhhhhhh.. okay. Leave already." The demon turns and look at the full moon dramatically as the author ends the chapter.