Have you ever jut walked down town or took the bus down town and examined everyone.. Thought about what they have been through throughout life? Cause I have. I do every single day. I walk the halls of my shitty school an wonder which kids are just like me.. Which ones go home an want to dig in their skin with a blade. How many cry themselves to sleep at night. Normal people don't notice those kinds of things.. So I guess I'm really normal. I can't find anyone like me. Probably because no one is like me.
My name is Sammy. I'm anything but perfect. I have long frizzy copper hair and multi coloured eyes. I hate my body and my laugh and my smile. Most of all I hate me. But no one is ever going to know that.
I'm in 9th grade. I guess you could call me "popular" but sometimes I don't feel like I belong anywhere. The popular boys think I'm cute but what is cute?? But who cares about those boys because I have a boyfriend. Correction, I have the most sexy boyfriend in the world. He's got an amazing body and he's the funniest guy alive. He is the reason I am alive. We have been together for 10 months now and we broke up twice. That sounds bad, but it's a long story and maybe you might hear about it later. Anyways.
I have 4 siblings.. Two brothers and two sisters. I am the last hope to make something of myself and so far I haven't quite fucked up although I basically took my life away letting depression win. I've had it for about a year now and I'd say it's getting better. It's not great but I'm definitely not as bad as before. What's crazy about depression is that no one notices. Not even your parents, not your closest friends. Or your boyfriend/girlfriend. No matter how many hints you give thy just go right in one ear and out the next. It gets hard sometimes but I'm sure it gets better right?
All I know is that sadness is addicting. I crawl back to it like it's my drug. I see no purpose in anything anymore. When I go to school I feel all alone. No one would guess that I, Sammy have self harmed.
"babe" I heard a familiar raspy voice call from outside my house I opened the window and there he was. "Justin what are you doing here" "can't I come visit the most beautiful girl ever?" I blushed. "I'm coming up babe" he yelled then jolted for the door and I opened. As soon as the door opened I felt his hands pull my waist an drag me closer to him. Immediately his lips pressed against mine and I felt so at peace. I whispered in my ear "I missed you" I hugged is body tightly then pulled him over to the couch. "So what are you doing here Justin" I asked while I looked at his face deeply. "I was dying to see you. And kiss you" he leaned in for another kiss.. I granted. "You surprised me" I said "that's what I was hoping for." He grabbed the remote and turned on some tv, I laid down an he joined, I put my head on his chest and closed my eyes listening to his heartbeat.
Hours went by and I woke up.. Really confused because I don't remember falling asleep. Justin was gone.. "Justin?" I screamed across the house, but no answer. I looked over on the coffee table and there was a note "hey babe sorry you got bored on me and fell asleep. I'll be back in three hours there's a dress on your bed with some heels I'm gonna pick you up an we will go on a romantic date. I love you so much" I started tearing up and ran to the dress. It was ruby red with sparkly diamond heels. "He really went all out"
But wait.. How do I wear this dress without showing off the cuts on my arms and legs?
