(trigger warning?)
death
i think about it way too much
you make a joke, i think about it
you smile at me, i think about it
you laugh at something funny i did, i think about it
everything around me, i think about it
it's so stupid
it's no ones fault but mine
but that 5 letter word seems like an amazing one when you think about it
what happens when you die?
is it quiet like a field with no winds?
or do you wake back up as another person?
do we just sit there in nothingness?
do we know we're dead?
so many amazing things about a 5 letter word
what if that 5 letter word changed to a 7 letter word?
would you love me the same?
would you act like i'm super fragile and anything you say could kill me?
would you hate me?
because yes. i wanna kill myself
but i won't. i can't.
so next time i say i crave death, please don't ask me if i'm okay, because no, i'm not okay.
you don't wanna hear how much i wanna die
you don't need to hear how i want to take the blade and press it into my skin like nothing matters
because right now, nothing but your happiness matters to me
as long as you are okay i'm okay
i will stay alive for you
because i love you more then you could ever know
and i don't wanna keep hurting you
but please, don't worry about me
i have wanted to die for a long time
it's nothing new
but right now i'm still breathing.
YOU ARE READING
My thoughts are killing me.
PoetryI write poetry to get my mind to understand what the fuck is happening in my head. Don't read them. they are pretty shitty.
