Gerard Way Imagine - MAMA

Part 1

I had been close friends with the Way family for years. I went to high school with Gerard and Mikey, and became close with them before they formed the band that would ultimately steal them from me. Of course, before then, I had been madly in love with Gerard. At the time he was my world, my everything, but being the shy teenager I was back then, I could never express my feelings towards him. And of course, he was stolen away by Lindsay Ballato. Gerard, Mikey and I had stayed in contact even while they were off touring the world with My Chemical Romance. I was so proud of them. But every photograph Gerard took of himself and Lindsay cut me a little deeper. I was slowly breaking my own heart. I tried to think of him as my friend, and nothing more. He even invited me to his wedding, and of course, I had to accept, I had no personal issue with Lindsay. She was beautiful, a Bass Princess, kind, sweet, everything Gerard needed in a woman. But she wasn't me. My jealousy cut me to the bone. I hated myself for it.

Two years after their wedding, my hopes of being with Gerard finally died. I received a phone call from him...telling me his baby daughter had just been born. I pretended to be happy for him and congratulated him and Lindsay, but the instant the line disconnected, I broke down in tears. A few moments later, I got a call from Mikey. He wanted me to stay with him for a few weeks. Mikey had always known my feelings towards Gerard. He encouraged me a few times to tell him how I felt, but my confidence failed me. Mikey knew I would have been destroyed by the news that the man I had loved for 15 years now had a child with another woman.
I packed a bag and decided to go and stay with Mikey. The instant he saw me, he threw his arms around me and hugged me.
"You alright, sis?"
"Yeah...I'm fine...."
Mikey could tell that I was lying. But I didn't care. Mikey let me stay with him for a few weeks, and then expanded it to a few months. 18 to be exact. Yes, I stayed with Mikey for a year and a half, managing to avoid any times Gerard or Lindsay would be over by heading outside. Mikey was a really great friend. I was so glad I had kept in contact for all those years. I was happy, and content, until that day, when Gerard and Lindsay came over unexpectedly. Mikey hadn't told Gerard that I was living there. So when he walked in with his daughter and wife closely following behind him, the sight of me in my summery white short dress caught him off guard.
"Mikey! Where are y-"
He became silent as he saw me.
"Hi...Gerard....Lindsay...um....I'm just...leaving..." I tried to scurry out of the door but Gerard was too fast for me.
"Wait. "
I didn't look at him. He caught my arm but I couldn't bear to face him now. Not after everything. Lindsay came up to me and held my shoulders.
"Are you okay?" she asked kindly. I couldn't hate her for being Gerard's wife. She was beautiful, in more ways than one.
"Y-Yeah...I'm fine. Thank you Lindsay. "
Lindsay could see through the obvious lie, and told her husband to take Bandit and find Mikey. Gerard nodded and left the room, scooping his daughter up in his arms in the process. She laughed happily as she went off to find Uncle Mikey.
Lindsay sat me down on the sofa.
"You're in love with my husband. Aren't you?"
I broke down. I couldn't stop crying. I told Lindsay of how I had been so close to him in Middle and High school. And how being in MCR tore our friendship to shreds.
Lindsay reached forward and hugged me.
"It's alright."

After that day, Gerard and Lindsay spent more time with me. I got to meet their toddler daughter, Bandit, and she really took a shine to me. I loved her to bits. And it made me happy to see Gerard smile when she was around.
Lindsay and I became close friends. And out of respect for me, she never kissed or hugged Gerard while I was there. I grew to love Lindsay like a sister, and after a few years, Bandit was turning 10, and she started calling me Auntie.
I was so happy. I felt like Lindsay had accepted me into her family. And Gerard was happy to have me around that often too.
But it all changed.

One day in August, Lindsay and I were out taking Bandit to get some new clothes. We were just chatting about music and the news when we were meant to cross over a busy road. We waited for the lights to change colour, and when it went green, Lindsay began to walk across the street. Bandit got her sleeve caught in a bike rack beside the road, so I helped her. That's what saved us. I glanced up and saw Lindsay heading across the street. But a huge truck was heading towards her. The driver slammed the breaks but they were failing. The realisation hit me.

"LINDSAY! LOOK OUT!" I screamed.
Lindsay looked up and tried to run but she was too late. I grabbed Bandit and held her close so she couldn't see what just happened.
"Bee, stay here, don't move, okay? "
Bandit knew exactly what was going on, but did as I asked her I sprinted across the street towards where Lindsay had been knocked down. "Lindsay!!!!" I felt tears stinging at my eyes. This couldn't be happening. She was still alive, thank god. But she was covered in blood. I took out my phone and called for an ambulance.

"Lindsay, you're gonna be okay, alright?" I tried to reassure her. Her breathing was rapid.
"P-P-Please..." she started to say
"No no, no don't speak, Lin, save your energy, OK?
"T-Take care of Gee..." she managed to croak out. My heart shattered.
I scrolled through my contacts until I got Gerard's number.
Bandit and I got into the ambulance with Lindsay and the Paramedics, and I called Gerard.
"Hello?"
"Gerard you have to get to the hospital. Now. Lin's been hit by a truck. " I said quickly and clearly trying not to break down. Gerard said something I couldn't make out, and hung up.
10 minutes later, I sat in the waiting room hugging Bandit, who was crying quietly into my arms. God help her....she's still so young. I thought.
Gerard burst into the room, panic on his face. He looked a little more relaxed when he saw me.
"Bandit, hun, look, there's your dad. "
She looked up and saw her father, instantly running over to him. "Dad!"
Gerard knelt down and hugged his daughter trying to calm her down. She was very shocked and upset at this. I sat with my head in my hands. I couldn't help but think this was my fault. I should have been hit by that truck....not Lindsay.
A doctor walked into the room and called out,
"Is the immediate family of Lindsay Way here?"
Gerard stood up and walked over to the doctor.
"I'm her husband. " he said. Fear apparent in his voice.
"She says there's a girl as well?"
"You mean our daughter? Bandit?"
"No. "
Gerard called out my name. I stood up and walked over to the two men.
"Me?"
"Yes, Miss, Ms. Way asked for you too. "
"So she's okay?"
The doctor didn't respond.
"She is okay, right?"
"Rosa, please look after Mr. Way's daughter for a while, you two should come with me".
So Gerard and I followed the doctor to a room with only one bed. There we saw Lindsay, with an oxygen mask, and hooked up to a life support machine. She was conscious, but bleeding out. She was going to die.
I ran over to her bedside and dropped to my knees in tears, clasping her hand.
"Lindsay...!" I cried, she turned her head to look at me and i could see her smile and point to the oxygen mask. She wanted me to remove it. So I did.
Gerard stood on the other side of her. Tears threatening to spill over his eyelids. He held her left hand and kissed it softly.
My eyes were stinging and red at this point. But Lindsay smiled at me.
"Hey....don't cry. You saved my daughter's life. And I know that you'll take care of her. And him. " she said turning her head to Gerard. Who smiled sweetly at his wife.
She began to tell him that she loved him, and that she wanted him to move on once she was gone, so that he could stay happy. She took off her wedding ring and placed it back in his hand. He kissed her, and told her he would always love her. Before she called the doctors in.
Gerard and I stood at the foot of her bed. We looked at each other for a second,  neither of us could believe what was happening.

"It's time." Lindsay smiled at the doctors, and then looked back at me and Gerard.
"Take care of her, Gee. Look after her and Bandit,"
Then her eyes fluttered closed and her smile softened. The machines stopped working and her heart stopped beating.
I broke down into a crying mess. I didn't want Gerard to see me like this but it was too much. I had been close with Lindsay for years and this destroyed me. Gerard put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. Tears were rolling down his cheeks too. We hugged tightly. Clinging onto each other and crying, as though we were all the other had left in the world.
We stayed that way for a good 10 minutes. Just holding each other and crying. Gerard broke the hug and looked at me. His eyes were puffy and red from his tears, just as I assumed mine were. After we had calmed down. We went back into the waiting room and Gerard gave his information to the receptionist. We told Bandit that we were going home, and Gerard drove us back to his house. I called Mikey and told him to come over as soon as possible.
When we got in, Gerard took me be the arm,
"I..I don't know if I can tell Bandit. " he confessed.
I assured him I'd do it. As Gerard took some time to himself. I gently broke the news to Bandit that her mom was in heaven and looking down on her. I told her that her mom would be very proud of her and will always protect and look after her from above. Bandit started crying and hugged me tightly. I stayed with her for as long as she needed.
"Auntie..." she said softly,
"Yeah, Bee?"
"Can you live here with Dad? He'll be lonely without Mama...."
I didn't know what to tell her. I hesitates for a moment, but as I opened my mouth to speak, Mikey came in, followed by Ray and Frank. I turned to face them. A soft smile played on my lips as Mikey came over to hug his niece. Ray gave me a hug and Frank asked if I was okay. I lied and told them I was fine, and then I went upstairs to get Gerard.
I knocked on his bedroom door.
"Gerard.....? Are you there? Mikey's here with Ray and Frank....they want to make sure you're okay, "
I got no response. After a few minutes I knocked again.
"Gerard?"
Nothing.
I slowly opened the door to see Gerard on the floor, staring blankly into the distance, a bottle of beer in his hand. And two more empty ones scattered near him. Tears were spilling over his eyes as though he were some sort of statue. It made my heart break to see him this way. I knelt down beside him, and hugged him.
"Please, let it all out. Don't try and be strong, you don't have to. I'm here for you, Gee. " I cried softly into his shoulder.
For a good thirty seconds, he didn't move an inch. He was barely breathing. I assumed he wanted me to go, so I began to pull away, but he quickly clutched me tight and sobbed into my shoulder. Memories of a young, carefree Gerard flooded through my mind, and to see the same man in this broken state was horrible.
We went downstairs a while later to speak to the boys, and by the end if the week, Lindsay's funeral had taken place.
"Thank you for coming..." Gerard said, hanging his jacket on track near the door. I set my purse on the counter and sadly smiled at him.
"It was no problem, Gee. How are you feeling? "
"I'm....I'm actually alright. I think everything will be okay.",
~
Three years passed. Gerard wasn't okay. He began to slip back into depression, and drank far too much, far too often. I was there a lot of the time looking after the now 13 year old Bandit, she had started her period and begun wearing bras and started talking about liking boys, and a few girls too. Gerard obviously couldn't help her through the female parts of puberty, so I helped her. Once she accidentally called me mom and I was so moved it took all of my willpower to stop myself from crying.
One Friday night, when Bandit came back from school. We were laughing about, play fighting, Gerard was laying on the sofa, with a beer can in his hand, not focusing on us. Bandit play pushed me over, and I tripped over the laces of my boots, and fell backwards. I instinctively tried to grab into something to keep myself upright, but I accidentally knocked over a photo frame, breaking the glass. It was a photo of Lindsay and Gerard not long after Bandit was born.
"(Y/N!)" Bandit reached down and helped me up, "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm all good. I need to clear this up. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Gerard got up to see what all the commotion was about. He saw the broken photo and something in him snapped. He threw the beer can away and began to yell at me.
"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BREAKING PHOTOS OF ME AND MY WIFE?"
"Gee, I'm sorry! I-It was an accident!"
"Yeah dad, we were just playing and she fell, she didn't mean to!"
Gerard told Bandit to go to her room. So she obliged.
"I WANT YOU THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! " Gerard bellowed. "ITS YOUR FAULT MY WIFE DIED!"
I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and my heart broke. "FINE! " I screamed back at him. "PLEASE DONT FUCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS LIFE AS MUCH AD YOURE CURRENTLY FUCKING UP YOUR OWN! STOP FUCKING DRINKING, GERARD!" I yelled, tears streaking down my face as I ran out of the house. I drove back to my apartment and lay on my bed crying. What had I done....? 

//third person

Bandit heard the front door slam. (Y/N had left the house and it wasn't looking like she was going to come back for a while. Gerard took another beer and slumped back onto the couch. Bandit couldn't take seeing her normally happy and carefree father being so upset and depressed. And she certainly couldn't take seeing him lash out at (Y/N).
She decided that in a few days, when she was able to find him, sober, she would confront her father. He needed to know the truth about (Y/N)s feelings towards him.
A week passed before Bandit caught Gerard sober.
"Dad!" she called,
"Yeah, princess?"
"Why did you do it..."
"Do what?"
"Send (Y/N) away...she never did anything wrong!"

"Bandit that's really none of your business."
"But (Y/N) hadn't done anything to deserve that Dad! She has been nothing but kind and loving to us! To you! "
"Okay. That's-"
"Since Mom died, all you cared about was getting drunk! (Y/N) brought me up while you wallowed in self pity! She didn't have to stay, she could have lived her own life free as a bird but she code to stay and help us because she loves us! She loves you!"
"She... what?"