Never Trust A Liar

Gone.....

Michelle Harrison carried her canvas tote and a glass of iced tea out the back door of her new foster family's home in Austin, Texas. Cars swished and grumbled on the nearby main streets, and the air smelled heavily of exhaust and the local water treatment plant. The only decorations in the backyard were dusty free weights, a rusted bug zapper, and cracked terra-cotta statues.It was a far cry from my backyard in San Clemente, which was a quiet, clean beach with so many friendly people.

Like I said, it was weird and random which details I still remembered and which ones had evaporated away. For the last hour, I'd been following Michelle trying to make sense of her life and willing myself to remember my own. Not like I had a choice. Everywhere she went, I went. I wasn't entirely sure how I knew these things about Michelle, either-they just appeared in my head as I watched her, like a text message popping up in an inbox. I knew the details of her life better than I did my own.

Michelle dropped the tote on the faux wrought-iron patio table, plopped down in a plastic lawn chair, and craned her neck upward. The only nice thing about this patio was that it faced away from the city, offering a large section of clear, uninterrupted sky. The moon dangled halfway up the horizon, a bloated alabaster wafer. Michelle's gaze drifted to two bright, familiar stars to the east. At nine years old, Michelle had wistfully named the star on the right the Mom Star, the star on the left the Dad Star, and the smaller, brightly twinkling spot just below them the Michelle Star. She'd made up all kinds of fairy tales about these stars, pretending that they were her real family and that one day they'd all be reunited on earth like they were in the sky.

Michelle had been in foster care for most of her life. She'd never met her dad, but she remembered her mother, with whom she had lived until she was five years old. Her mom's name was Jenny. She was a slender woman who loved shouting out the answers to Wheel of Fortune, dancing around the living room to Michael Jackson songs, and reading tabloids that ran stories like BABY BORN FROM PUMPKIN! and BAT BOY LIVES! Jenny used to send Michelle on scavenger hunts around their apartment building, the prize always being a tube of used lipstick or a mini Snickers.

She bought Michelle frilly tutus and lacy dresses from Goodwill for dress-up. She read Michelle Harry Potter before bed, making up different voices for every character. But Jenny was like a scratch-off lottery ticket-Michelle never quite knew what she was going to get with her. Sometimes Jenny spent the whole day crying on the couch, her face contorted and her cheeks streaked with tears. Other times she would drag Michelle to the nearest department store and buy her two of everything.

"Why do I need two pairs of the same shoes?" Michelle would ask. A faraway look would come over Jenny's face.

"In case the first pair gets dirty, Chelly."

Jenny could be very forgetful, too-like the time she left Michelle at a K Mart. Suddenly unable to breathe, Michelle had watched her mother's car vanish down the shimmering highway. The clerk on duty gave Michelle an orange Popsicle and let her sit on the ice freezer at the front of the store while he made some phone calls. When Jenny finally returned, she scooped up Michelle and gave her a huge hug. For once, she didn't even complain when Michelle dripped sticky orange Popsicle goo on her dress.

One summer night not long after that, Michelle slept over with Kelsie Morgan, a friend from kindergarten. She woke up in the morning to Mrs. Morgan standing in the doorway, a sick look on her face. Apparently, Jenny had left a note under the Morgans' front door, saying she'd "gone on a little trip." Some trip that was-it had lasted almost thirteen years and counting.

When no one could track down Jenny, Kelsie's parents turned Michelle over to an orphanage in Houston. Potential adopters had no interest in a five-year-old-they all wanted babies they could mold into mini versions of themselves-so Michelle lived in group homes, then foster homes. Though Michelle would always love her mom, she couldn't say she missed her-at least not Miserable Jenny, Manic Jenny, or the Lunatic Jenny who'd forgotten her at the K Mart. She did miss the idea of a mom though: someone stable and constant who knew her past, looked forward to her future, and loved her unconditionally. Michelle had invented the Mom, Dad, and Michelle stars in the sky not based on anything she'd ever known, but instead on what she wished she'd had.