“Grah!” The small green Irken shoved open the bathroom door to his ‘inconspicuous’ lair. He immediately threw out an arm, knocking his robot mother against the wall. Sparks flew from her stiff hair.
“That insufferable Dib person will surely pay, Gir, don’t you worry!”
His other robotic companion didn’t seem to notice his master’s clear anger. In fact, his blue receptors were immersed completely in a television show about a monkey. He leaned even closer in the couch.
“Ohhh yes!” continued Zim. “It shall be horrible what I plan to do, you’ll see! Thinking HE can expose my alien identity simply by pointing out my differing features? HAH!” He ignored the fact that Gir hadn’t so much as glanced in his direction. He liked to hear himself. Having Gir in the room was just an excuse to talk to himself without admitting it. He began to pace back and forth in front of the television set. Gir leaned from side to side to keep watching. “Humans can have many deformities! Why Dib himself has odd clear disks over his eyeballs! And a huge head! Mine is far smaller and superior.”
“Mrrrmm!” Gir shifted anxiously, ignoring his Irken master.
“Oh how he’ll pay for trying to humiliate me! Me, Zim!”
“AH!” The high pitched cry didn’t sound as though such a small robot could produce it. “MY SHOW! I’M MISSING MY SHOW!” The dramatic sobs grew quickly in volume.
“Gir!” He grabbed his arm. “There are much more important matters at hand!” He rolled his eyes, “This isn’t even a show. It’s a commer-“ He stopped when he noticed the advertisement.
The silhouette of a man and woman on a mountain top appeared across the television. “Listen up, ladies! Want to leave your man speechless?”
“Hm?!” Zim rushed closer to the screen.
“Quiet him with a kiss…” The woman suddenly pressed her lips against the man’s. “Introducing a new line of lipstick by the humans who brought you poop soda flavored lip balm! It’s-“
“Quiet him?!” Zim quickly turned to Gir, “You watch these foul Earth shows, what is this kiss? Does it leave your enemies unable to breathe? Or, at the least, paralyze them?!”
“Dawww” Gir cooed as he pointed at the ending commercial, “They’re in love!”
“Love?! What is this, love?”
“And now that baby gonna go WAAAAH!”
“Eh?” Zim noticed the new advertisement and snapped back, “Gir! Focus! This information is important.” His voice dropped into a dubious manner, “ If I can take Dib to a secluded location and ‘kiss’ him, then perhaps that’ll give me the advantage to capture him, make him my slave, or even… place a chip in his brain, yes!” His three fingered hands rubbed together and eyes narrowed. “Now, tell me everything you know…”
Zim sat in class anxiously staring at the clock every few moments. ‘Two minutes…’ he thought. ‘Two minutes till school ends, and operation Destroy Dib begins…’ He glanced over at his enemy across the room. The dark haired boy looked up, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Zim smiled devilishly at back at him.
Dib’s face twisted in disgust, “Okay, you’re starting to freak me out, Zim.”
That’s when the bell rang. Zim waited as the children began to rush out of the classroom like wild animals.
“Remember children,” Ms. Bitters’s voice was just as chilling as usual. “ tomorrow is Halloween. So wear your hideous home made costumes.”
“Perfect day for you, huh Zim?” Dib smirked as he crossed his path. He flung his messenger bag over his neck and shoulder. “The one day you don’t have to disguise yourself!” He laughed while exiting the room.
“Rahhh!” Zim fumed but quickly bottled his anger. He hurried behind him, “Dib friend!” He placed a hand on his shoulder. “I have something I would like to show you!”
Dib’s dark eyes rolled, “Uh yeah, no thanks, space boy. I’m not falling for your obvious tricks.” He pushed open the school doors and hopped down the stoop. “See ya!” He said with a satisfied grin. The boy turned to gain his distracted sister’s attention.
“Come on, Gaz, let’s go home.”
She didn’t look away from her gaming device, “Dib, you’re blocking the light from my screen.”
The two were walking away.
“Ermmmm!” ‘Quick,’ thought Zim. ‘I have to come up with a good reason for him to follow me! This chip in my pocket can’t survive long without a warm energy source. I must implant it in his giant head now, or it’ll be useless by the time I can get home. Even if Gir somehow makes it here….’ He grabbed the sides of his face in frustration, “Gah, think Zim!”
“Oh man,” chimed in a little girl coming out of the building, “What a weirdo!”
“Silence!” He spat back. ‘Wait!’ He suddenly came up with an idea. ‘Dib thinks I’m an alien… I could use this!’ He rushed quickly over to the boy and his sister, “Dib person! I ask of you an ear to lend!”
“Huh?” Once again, he lifted an eyebrow.
Gaz strolled passed them without a word.
Dib sighed with a weak smile, “Zim, you’re being too direct. Even someone not as paranoid as me would see passed your intentions… right Gaz?” She, however, was already long gone.
Zim ignored this accusation, “Dib, please.” He attempted that moment to control his volume as to sound more ‘pleasing’ and ‘sincere’. “You’re the only human I’ve met since being here that is smart enough to see passed my marvelous disguise.”
“Marvelous? You wear a wig and contacts…”
“It’s marvelous!” He took a breath and closed his eyes solemnly, “And, as hard as it is to say, you’re my only friend here.”
“Zim, have you lost it?”
“Being the only smart being in an entire planet is lonely, don’t you think?”
“Well uh,” Dib laughed nervously, “I don’t know about the only smart per-“
“While you see everything as it really is, and others judge you…” He leaned in with a small smile, “Don’t you ever just want one person to talk to about your thoughts?”
Dib shook his head suddenly and took off walking again, “Zim, your flattery isn’t fooling me.”
“Ah, um!” The Irken raced to his side, “But! What if you come with me-“
Dib’s eyes closed with annoyance, “Not happening.”
“I’ll tell you about my planet!”
Dib stopped in his tracks, and his eyes grew in excitement, “What? Why would you do th-“
“Because!” ‘Ah, I have you now, little Dib,’ he thought. “I am desperate for intellectual conversation. It’s taken months, but I’ve accepted you’re the only worthy candidate.”
“Okay… I definitely feel like this is a trap… but if you’re telling the truth… I could finally learn about the first outer space species to visit us! Oh, but you may be planning to capture me… but which is more worth the risk?”
“Are you done talking to yourself?”
“Okay, Zim,” He smiled, “I’ll come with you, but it has to be in public.”
“Stupid! You expect me to discuss my people out in the open?”
“Well, at least make sure it has cell service. I’d like to be able to call 911 at the ready.” He flipped open a device and clacked away. “There,” He held it out, “It’s on speed dial. So don’t try anything funny.”
Zim swiped at it, “Oh please, like I’d do anything that evil.”
“You once mutated our classroom pet and destroyed nearly the whole city, then rocketed Pipi into space…”
“Don’t be silly, that wasn’t me…”
The two left side by side in another direction. It was some time before they arrived outside the city limits.
“How much…further?” Dib huffed. “We haven’t seen a person for thirty minutes.”
“Oh just up this hill.”
“You mean the top of that cliff?” He stopped suddenly. “You want to push me off, don’t you? I knew it! This was a trap. Very well done, Zim, you almost had me. I’m going home.”
“Wait!” He cried, “Let’s just talk here, is that okay?”
“Here?” Dib looked around. They were next to an old abandoned house. He also had full bars. “Alright, fine.”
Zim grabbed him by the hand and yanked him.
“Ah! Zim, that hurts!”He was pulled behind the building, hiding them even further from eyes. “What’s the point in taking precautions this far? You’re raising my suspicions even higher, you know.” He brushed off his dark trench coat.
Zim smiled devilishly, “Dib, do you know what my plans are exactly?”
“Hmm.” Dib glared back at him, “To take over Earth, duh. Now tell me what it is you’re wanting to tell me. Before I change my mind.”
“Oh Dib…” The small jade colored ‘boy’ paced in a tight line before his nemesis. He raised his hands, “What fun it would be to kill you… You know, I even considered it. Seeing as you took this bait so easily…”
Dib’s eyes widened in anxiety, but he snickered nonetheless, “Pfft, you’re not capable of it, Zim. It’s been a long time since you came here, and your only threat still stands.”
“Hmm… Perhaps you’re right…” Suddenly four spider – like legs sprung from Zim’s Pak and slammed Dib against the wall. Loud cracking of the wood echoed, and a flock of nearby birds scattered. The invader got closer to the young human’s terrified face, “My race has far superior technology, you see.” His grin grew. “Millions of light years ahead of your kind…”
“Wait…Isn’t a light year a measure of distance, not time?”
“Silence Dib! I’ve waited far too long for this moment.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small chip. “You see this?”
Dib swallowed nervously, “What… What is that for?” He attempted to move, but his shoulders and wrists were pinned.
“Scared now, huh?” His fear pleased him beyond imagination. “You see… This device can control the actions of a human. I designed it myself.”
“With the help of that computer of yours-“
“AND! This particular chip does nothing more… the human under its control sees and comprehends everything they do… “
Dib breathed quick , heavy breaths. ‘If this device is no joke… It could be ME that’s killing innocent people for HIM!’
“You seem a little less confident that I’m a joke now, don’t you Dib? Now, stay still as I place it in your skull!”
“Ah! No!” Dib thrust forward, but the metallic legs shoved his torso back. He, in return, thrashed his head and own legs as hard as he could. “You’ll never get away with this, Zim! Even if you control me, there are billions of us. There’s no way a single idiot like you could enslave us all!”
“Hahahahahaha!!” Zim was more than enjoying this. He placed the chip back in his pocket and drew out a small black object the size of a pen. “Now, for the incision!” He pressed the button on the back of the device, and a small blue light appeared at its other end.
Dib growled, “Stop it, Zim! This isn’t funny!”
“Oh but it is for me, Dib. No longer will I have to worry about being exposed, worry about having to sit through your boring plans, or listen to you talk to yourself! Now stay still!”
“Grr!” Dib shook wildly. His nose smacked the laser away.
His voice dropped, “Come on, seriously. Stop, Dib.” Zim was becoming annoyed. He, yet again, missed his forehead.
Dib growled and kept wriggling in fear.
“Okay, enough!” He grabbed Dib’s face with both hands and planted his lips over his.
Dib immediately stopped. Zim’s mouth was pressed so powerfully against his that it not only hurt but had raised his glasses slightly. His lips were cool to the touch. All thought had left his brain in that instant, and his body was slowly reacting submissively.
This was exactly as Zim had planned. Dib had ceased all fighting and even had let his guard down completely. There was a problem though. Zim couldn’t think either. A new emotion flooded through him like a raging river. His steel legs drooped to the ground, freeing their grasp on the boy. Without realizing it, the Irken had closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. Dib’s lips were soft and yet, stung his. As an alien, water burned him, but his saliva had more of a small, tingling effect on his mouth. It was rather pleasant.
“Mm!” Dib pushed hard against Zim’s chest. “What are you doing?!” He coughed after he was free. “Man, what’s going through your head? Why did you kiss me?!” He rubbed his mouth and attempted to hide his immense blush and bashful expression.
“Um…” To Dib’s shock, Zim also was blushing… but even worse. “I uh… “ He snapped his face into a convincing anger, “You win this time, human! A worthy adversary!” a metallic band appeared on his arm, “Gir, come to me and take me home! Now!”
“Yes, my lord!” The serious voice of the robot was a rare treat.
Zim looked up at Dib’s red face, “What?! What is it? Don’t gloat at your victory!”
“Y – you kissed me…” He stammered. “You took me all the way out here… to kiss me?”
“Eh? Of course not. The kiss was simply meant to stun you.” He turned his back to him, “But I’ve discovered it’s a much more difficult action than I originally thought. You were able to paralyze me as well! Now I can’t even think straight!” He waved a hand at him, “I admit my defeat this time, but I’ll think of another way to control you, don’t worry!”
“Wait…” Dib’s chest was heavy, “You… couldn’t think either?” He broke out into a cold sweat.
“Oh stop gloating! It’s already annoying!” A loud laugh and spiraling cloud of smoke flew over some distant trees. “Oh good! Gir, hurry! I must get home to think of a new plan!” He hoisted himself onto the floating dog’s back.
“Zim wait!” Dib ran over, “Do you…” He looked to the ground in embarrassment. “Do you like me?”
“Like you?” Zim laughed uncontrollably, “I kiss you, and you ask if I like you?! You really are crazy like the other monsters say! Goodbye Dib!”
Another loud shriek of joy was heard from the robot. Winds from them flying off knocked the boy hard on his bottom. He struggled back to his feet, watching them leave.
“Hmm.” Dib touched his lips then looked in the direction of his home, preparing himself for the long walk.
YOU ARE READING
ZADR Earthly Emotions
FanfictionAfter being stripped of his title as an invader, Zim is forced to do time at Hobo 13 which is now a labor camp for prisoners. Meanwhile on Earth, Dib is the only human that remembers the green boy after the Tallest wipe everyone's memory. It quickly...
