Novel Writer's Toolkit: Revised Edition

More on Tool 7: Writing Sex and Violence

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Sex

The hit TV show Seinfeld has covered every possible topic, including sex. Here is the dialogue from the Yada, Yada episode about sex:

George: You don’t think she would yada, yada sex?

Elaine: (raises hand) I’ve yada yadaed sex.

George: Really?

Elaine: Yeah, I met this lawyer, we went to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my apartment, yada, yada, yada, I never heard from him again.

Jerry: But you yada, yadaed over the best part!

Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque.

One of my novels was rejected because the editor was really turned off by the first sex scene. I won’t get into details—sorry—but there was a disturbing edge to it. There were four total sex scenes that were layered in after the first draft. I was trying to establish the nature of the relationship between the protagonist and his girlfriend.

But I did it badly.

I had been trying to set up the girlfriend as the antagonist in the second book in the series. One of my tenets as a teacher is write each book as a standalone, so I was violating my own rules. The scene itself was so graphic it left the reader wondering how sick were these two people? Well, they were sick in their own rights, but the problem was that readers were not empathetic to my protagonist yet. While they don’t have to be “likeable” they must be empathetic and this scene failed to give the reader anything to hold on to, so I rewrote.

Remember American Psycho?  Info dump coming: Simon & Schuster originally bought the book but refused to publish it because of the graphic violence and sex so it went to Vintage. The author received death threats and hate mail. Gloria Steinem opposed the book because of the violence toward women. Interestingly, Steinem is the stepmother of Christian Bale who portrayed the protagonist in the movie version.

Sex scenes have to have purpose and move your story forward. Sex for the sake of sex is just that…sex. A sex scene is an interesting way to show small changes in our characters at a deeper level. Actions speak louder than words. A sex scene where the hero and heroine are intimate for the first time could be a way to show insecurities and fears. 

While the sex is the action, the scene itself is not about sex, but about character arc and development and there needs to be conflict. This might not happen on an external level, but there must be some conflict on an internal level or you don’t need the scene.

In my early books when people had sex, someone died shortly afterward, much like in a horror movie.  (Actually, I didn’t want the guy to have to make small talk afterwards.)

Do you have to write a sex scene? No. If the book requires one to show something about character and plot, then write the sex, otherwise, forget about it.

What is considered too graphic? It all depends on story, character, and genre. If you are writing a sweet romance, sex probably won’t be on the page. If you are writing a romantic suspense novel there is a good chance your characters will have sex.

Whose POV should be used? The POV of the story.

Men and woman do approach sex differently and this can be something to use for character in your books. For men, when sex is over, it’s over. For women it’s usually just the beginning. Key here is character and expectations. You have to be consistent with character.

Bottom line, write your book.

Violence

I watched Mission Impossible III and, in my opinion, it was an excellent example of filming lousy action. I particularly dislike the way explosions are used as ways to ‘propel’ Tom Cruise forward. They don’t hurt him, they move him. And when he falls to the end of a steel cable and is abruptly halted, unlike mere mortals whose back would be broken (ropes are used for climbing because they have at least 1/3 give if you have a fall), Tom motors on. And the bad guys blow up and kill all the other people in all the other cars, but not Tom in his car. Lucky guy. As you can tell, you don’t want to watch an action movie with me. Besides being unrealistic, it violated something I think is very important for action scenes: timing.