~this is based on true events, names have been changed.~
I made this new account, under a new name and a new age. I was something and someone else. She was like me a lot because well haha she was me, but I developed to being her too much so the real me was lost. I called her Ally, when my real name is Emma. She was me and I never lied about anything when I was her, it was all the truth, well all but one thing I guess.
I met someone while I was Ally. She whom was trans but I hadn't known that yet went by Auggie. She seemed so sweet and I fell in love right away. She was 16 almost 17 and my being of 14 I knew if she knew she wouldn't have spoke to me because in many ways I was just a child. So I lied. I said I was 18 almost 19. I thought that lying to get her to stay was a smart thing but I found that later on lying was the worst thing I could have done to our relationship.
Auggie was more then I could have ever asked for, she was just straight out amazing and she didn't even try. How could you do that? She was funny and smart, kind and caring, sweet and I'm not a person who looks are everything but she had those too. She was like a perfect present sent here just for me. When she text me for the first time it was really weird, but even from those first cute little words she was funny and made me smile.
It seemed like it had been years since I smiled like that.
I'll tell you what she said and maybe you'll laugh or maybe you wont but that was our start. Those simple words.
hey I'm not trying to sound creepy and I'm not some old guy, I can prove it, but I just wanted to say you're really beautiful okay byeeee
And in those words, when she said byeeee I knew I didn't want her to leave. She was sweet and cute and silly and goofy. She was adorable, I don't know where I'd be if she hadn't text me that day.
****
Now almost two months later, sh- he is all that is on my mind. every thought, every word, everything brought it back to him. Every morning I woke up to see his name fly across my screen, or the countless times I got to watch him fall asleep while on facetime. Though we hadn't met he was my everything and I felt closer to nobody else.
He found out about the truth, it was horrible. I did stupid, dumb things that nobody should ever do and I put him through that and I hurt him, but he found out. Him knowing the truth made things easier but I can and could tell that it bothered him and that it still does. I want to say something sometimes but I know that it would be wrong. He's aloud to feel the way he wants and I cant say 'no! you must feel this way!' what kind of girlfriend would that make me? Oh, wait did I not tell you? Auggie asked me out too, he was sweet and a sappy romantic when he did it too. Of course this was after the fact that I asked him out and he said he needed the time because he just got out of a relationship.
Then he told me, 'Ally I don't want to wait to be with you'. and I swear those words changed my life.
he told me that he wanted to wait a few more days just to get over the last perosn so all his work and affection would all be on me. Of course i understood but Im pretty sure that I went into a small fit and shut down for awhile. Dont judge me. But, then he said those simple words. That he too didnt want to wait to be with me. I thought that I would have to wait weeks, to be left on read, to have no clue what was going on and that it would be forever for what I'd want.
You could ask me anything in those hours of our meeting and I would have no clue because he mezmorized me. Changed everything, in person I was on my phone just smiling and giggling at everything that he had to say. It wasnt the laughs that you did because you wanted them to like you and think that you like them, it was a real laugh, a real smile. That was real Auggie. You're real.
