Unnamed

A Very Accurate Short Story

One day, a girl named Pyrrha realized she had a problem. The problem, you ask? That she wasn't married to Billie Joe Armstrong. She came up with a plan one day after school, using her extensive knowledge of the man himself and of pop culture. She planned to get a TARDIS somehow (she told herself that she'd already know how to operate it somehow because she's watched Doctor Who so much) and wait until she was 17. Then, she planned to travel back in time to 1990 in California (she couldn't discern whether Billie Joe would be in Rodeo or Oakland at that time so she just decided to figure it out at a later point). She then planned on preventing Billie Joe and Adrienne from ever coming in contact with each other, thus replacing Adrienne.

After a moment or two of contemplation, she realized just how silly the idea was. There's no way she'd find a TARDIS, they aren't earthen vessels! She contemplated more ideas aloud to herself. "I could just... wait for them to hate each other. But, wait, they've been together longer than I've been alive, they're not going to hate each other." She frowned as she thought. "Maybe... Adrienne could get into an 'accident'... but, wait, accidents never just happen accidentally, they'd figure out that it was me."

"Wait! I... I need to give up. It's hopeless. I'm not good enough. Besides, he loves her and stuff. I'd destroy his life by not being good enough. He'd end up killing himself, probably. Besides, they are a cute couple... why would I want to destroy that?"

She then decided that her not being married to Billie Joe wasn't a problem at all. That it was a good thing. With her new found peace of mind, she proceeded to watch Emo Bands on Crack videos for about 6 hours.

When she woke up the next morning, she started to plan how she was going to get married to Mike Dirnt instead.

THE END