Strangers on a spaceship

Theres only one life and only one part

They call me, Gudah. No it's not like the cheese. It's much fancier sounding and far too advanced to teach you how to say. But anywho, let's start this story off right, shall we?

I was the young age of 16 when I snuck aboard the Tentacle. An interstellar spaceship meant for the planet Vlorborn. A planet you primitive cave men can't even comprehend yet. I bet you don't even know how I got this story into the past. Silly apes. Anyway! Stop distracting me, would you? I have a grand romantic space story to tell you!

As I was saying, it was a dark summer morning and the spacecraft was set to launch in 1 hour. Our planet was dying and these were our life boats. The lines were massive, human eyes couldn't  see far enough to count the crowds. Luckily for me, I have Techtron 3000 eyes. Sure they're hand me downs from my cousin Suzy, but boy oh boy do these bad boys zoooom. I counted 67,000 people huddled in the old earth air ports. You see, noone bothered flying anywhere else on the planet. They all just wanted off the sinking ship you call earth. Tickets were rare and wait times were long. I wasnt gonna die waiting, oh no way!

I had a plan! It involved a dinosaur. A robot dinosaur. A big robot dinosaur. His name was Ralph. My buddy from grade school. A little bit on the dumb side, but loyal as all heck. You'd think a programmable dinosaur cyborg could make himself smart. Oh well, that's not for me to judge. You see Ralph was a T-Rex. With a big fat belly, a Gudah sized belly. Luckily for us, the interstellar commission loved to used dinosaurs as labor and security. Luckily for me my big dumb friend landed a labor job. He was the ships wind shield wiper. Imagine that, a robot dinosaur with gravity boots running across it's windows, as it hurtles through space. Science is great isn't it?

I was stuffed into the metallic chamber that was my buddy Ralph's stomach. Noone suspected a thing. All I had to do was let him swallow me. Once we were aboard the ship, I'm not even going to tell you how I got out of that stomach. Let's just say I'm scarred for life and the Tentacle has some nice toilet rooms.

So there I was, on a massive space ship. A free man, zooming through space. Eating space food and checking out space babes. Imagine it like you would imagine a cruise liner from your time. Except it's 30 cruise liners all mushed together, topped with military crazies, and cooked in an ice cold space oven. I know, I've got a way with words. Perfect description.  Don't gotta tell me. Seriously stop. I know I'm awesome. Let me continue my story.

I was on the lounge deck of area 376. Getting drunk on potato wine. When a lovely Vlorbornian came by. So tall and so sexy. You see I have a thing for those Vlorborn women. They average 8 feet tall, purple, and tentacles for days. So many tentacles, and they know how to use em! You cave men are missing out, let me tell you.

Then lots of things happen. Space pirates, explosions, mystery, murder, sex, double murder, really long wait times in elevators, and did I mention robot dinosaurs!? I don't want to destroy your puny cave men brains with my story, though. Or do I?