Little blade

Emotionless

Today was the day that I fell apart
No tears were shed, but all emotion seemed to leave my body
The urge to cut and cut deep came so quickly
It hit me like a truck
Not wanting to leave
To be able to feel something, to do something that seems productive
Something that will get me somewhere, anywhere but here, with the people that hate me,
The people who turn their back on me in a matter of minutes because they don't like something I was doing
I'm sorry I am trying to save myself, and in the process I'm not listening to your boy problem or how you got wasted last night
I want to get away, to leave this place.
Anywhere but here just get out of here, where everyone knows me and stares at me if I don't talk.
Looks at me like I'm weird, and I should be ashamed of myself
So yea, I guess I'm sorry that you don't approve of me trying to save myself.
But you don't really care do you? Never bothered to hear my part of the story. Why I am doing what I am.
Because that's not what matters
You just want to be right, no matter what
And if you don't get your way, hell brakes loose
So I guess I should be sorry for isolating myself.
But I don't think you realize that it's making it worse and you don't even fucking notice.
Cause you've pretended to care.
I've been through all of your shit with you, delt with your problems, gave you advice and I get nothing in return
No thank you
No see you later
Today is the day where I grabbed that razor, put it against my wrist and pressed down, but was too much of a coward to cut.
Who knows? Maybe one day I'll do it
People will call me stupid and a coward anyways
Plus you don't care right?
So leave me in my solitude.
I don't want you here anymore.
It sucks to try so hard, only for all the effort to evaporate into nothing.
I just want to take back all those times I defended you and told you what they said behind your back.
But that would be protecting you, and I'm done.
Done protecting you because you can't handle the world and just get pissed for no reason.
So this is me saying goodbye to all your drama, bullshit and backstabbing.
I'll find myself someone who appreciates me, or maybe I won't
Maybe I'll just end it all.