journal 17-ON HOLD

april 4th

hey I guess. so um i kinda just started writing in this journal because i filled up all my other ones. in fact, i've filled 16 journals in the past few years and this is the 17th. now i don't expect to share these with anyone at all because that would be extremely embarrassing. anyways, as i always start with in my journals, i'm am, short for amelyn. i'm a socially awkward student in my 3rd year of high school with a small group of friends. in total, our group consists of five people, all in the same year. junior year if you were confused. anyways, i'll stop writing nonsense and actually get into what's happened today.

so i woke up and did my normal morning routine. wake up, shower, get dressed, eat food, etc. i went downstairs and waited for my friends to arrive. wait hold on. i haven't told you about my friends exactly. well as i said earlier, i have a group of five friends so this shouldn't take awhile. so the first person on this very short list is daniel. dan for short,  is quite a nerdy video gamer. he spends most of his time at my house on his computer, browsing his social media, especially tumblr. i mean like he is ALWAYS on tumblr! like bloody hell man. okay before i go on a rant about tumblr, the next victim who has made the worst mistake of their life befriending me is zariel, but i call her z, my wonderful female friend. zariel is literally perfect. she gets good grades, enjoys reading, is very humorous, collects vinyls and cassettes, and is just so damn beautiful. her kinky curly brown hair is so amazing. she is literally an aesthetic pleasing person. to be completely honest, if i could, i would just look at her for hours because of how calm she makes me. okay okay, i am fond of her. i'm pretty sure that was obvious. hehehe let's just continue. okay so the next person is syballa, but I call her syb. she is an interesting person to be around. she's always cleaning. like i go over to her house quite often and what is she going to do about twice in five hours? she's going to go take a shower because she feels "dirty." anyways, she's also lovestruck by a lot of people. all she talks about these days are how she is fond of at least eight different boys and how she can't choose who to ask out. okay the last person on this list is adrian, my wonderful genderfluid pal. adrian is basically to put it short, a reckless partier who doesn't care about the consequences of their actions. surprising enough though, adrian does get good grades and by good i mean great. like they get 100% on everything and then some.

okay let's get on with my day then. so i was waiting for my group of pals to pick me up. i was listening to music, like always, just scrolling through the latest posts on instagram, not really paying attention to anything but my cell phone. i scroll through at least fifty pictures or so before i see one that catches my eye. it was a picture of me, frankly looking pretty terrible with my hair in pigtails, dorky glasses, and the strangest expression on my face. bryce, of course, was the one who posted it. oh yeah, i forgot i haven't introduced bryce yet. well let's get started then, shall we? bryce is one of the typical dramatic girls who only cares about herself and what people think about her. also, pretty cliche, but she's also among the group of people at my school who are known as the "bullies." and to pretty much sums her up, a rude twat that i try to avoid as much as i possibly can. so anyways, i looked down at the caption of her post and it read, "it's so ugly guys!! HAHA lmao. #gross #ugly #whatisit #gay." honestly, this doesn't phase me at all. i'm used to it. i mean first of all gay isn't an insult and i am gay so nice going bryce. also when she called me an it, she was just being transphobic. i haven't mentioned it, but i'm agender. i go by they/them pronouns and for some reason that really bugs bryce. oh well, i do expect that not everyone's going to be accepting of my gender and sexuality.

"am, get in the fucking car, we gotta go mate or are you going to take the bus to school?" one of my friends call out. i looked over to find out, zariel was the one who called out to me. i laugh a little before standing up and walking up to dan's mum's grey minivan. opening the backdoor of the car, i get in and sit in the very back next to adrian. dan and z are in the front seat, syb and charlie in the back, and adrian and i in the back. oh yeah, i completely forgot to mention charlie. okay so charlie is in our friend group, but isn't that close to anyone except for adrian and z. a brief description of of charlie, char for short, is he's ftm transgender, a youtuber, and pretty much records everything in his life. okay back to my day.