The Unforgiven [personal]

The Unforgiven

I always thought of myself as that. Unforgiven, unforgivable, twisted.

Sometimes I still think that I am. I look at people and wonder if they can guess how broken I am, how horrible.

'Do they know what I did back when I was just six?!'

But I've come to realize, I didn't do anything wrong.

When I was six, I played outside.
When I was six, I stayed up and counted to 250 just to see how many Pokémon cards I had.
When I was six, I climbed onto a bunk bed and tied dolls to the ceiling fan so they could travel via air.
When I was six, I cried because my best friend kissed me and I didn't know what to do.

When I was six, I was a child. Completely innocent. I didn't know better.

But he did.

He knew what he did was wrong, so he made me feel guilty about it.

He knew I was close to my sister, so he reminded me she'd tell on us.

Not him, us.

As though I had done anything wrong.

It had taken me years to understand that the events of my childhood happened to me, not because of me.

That I am not Unforgiven because what I did was so wrong, but because I didn't do anything to be forgiven for.

And I have no obligation to forgive him.

The only one who needs to forgive me for what happened is me.

So please stop and think of why you are unforgiven.