I haven’t spoken a word to anything or anyone in a number of years. Sitting on the top of my tree where the branches are sparse and weak, I watch time tick by in a blur of hours, minutes, sometimes even days. I come up here to think, the cool air clears my mind, clears me of the insanity that is my life.
I’d watch my brother and sister play games of tag and catch on the ground beneath me with makeshift toys they had made out of sticks and clay from the ground, they’d even ask me to join sometimes, but I always refused. I refused to accept the reality of my life. When I watched them then I realize now what mistakes I have made. I should have gone down to play with them even just once, but now the reality strikes me like a punch, I can no longer see my family. They are gone.
I haven’t fully accepted the reality of it all, living on my own, all I’ve ever known is to keep moving. It was easier when I had my family, my parents always knew where they were going, where as I have absolutely no clue. I’ve stayed put for the longest time I can remember. The only thing to comfort the blow of losing my family was the rough branches and leaves of this tree which keeps me company to this very day. Sometimes I ask myself why I ‘m still here. I should have died along with my family, but I stayed in tree which had too many leaves to count, it provided me shelter while my family was executed in front of my eyes. I could have done something, I could have saved them, but I didn’t. It is the only thing I regret to this day.
Glancing around the many branches entangled around each other I notice how wilted this tree has gotten over the past few years; it seems to weep with me. A rack of sobs intrudes my body; I have to hold on to the branches for support. I can’t believe I was careless enough to let that happen, It was a few years ago, but it still haunts me. The familiar sound of hovercraft propellers sounds, it’s normal around here, but something isn’t right. The noise is staying for too long over me. Tears blurring my vision, I look up to see the hovercraft’s wide propellers hovering over the tree, my tree.
I scramble to get out of the branches caging me in, I drop to the ground panicked did they finally find me? “Xenia Christopher,” The hovercraft’s speaker boom, “Surrender now.” I look up at it; the hovercraft is so big it shadows almost the entire forest. My feet freeze in terror, refusing to move an inch to escape the hovercraft’s noisy roar.
My suspicions have been confirmed. They have found me after four years of hiding. I force my feet to move over the thick grass coating the ground beneath me. I haven’t run in two weeks at least, my heart is pounding inside of my chest; I’m not sure whether it’s from running or from fear, but I can feel it hammering a steady beat. My feet want to stop, but I force them to move through the pain of sharp rocks and pebbles jabbing at them as I run.
Frantically, I search the surrounding trees for one to provide me shelter, but all the trees have shed their leaves, leaving a yellow frame below. I’m forced to keep moving by the incessant noises of the hovercraft roaming above me, I remember my mother’s last words to me. Never forget. Never forget about us, we’ll still be here in your time of need. We’ll be watching over you. We’ll be here. And when your time comes, we’ll be waiting with open arms.
The thought of her last words bring tears to my eyes. I remember the receding government personnel walking away from their writhing bodies as gunshots echoed through the forest. I climbed down the tree and crouched by her body, tears in my eyes as she said those words to me. I buried my face in her stomach and cried. It was the first tear I had ever shed. I took her blood-stained hand and told her that she wasn’t going to die, though I knew she was, it was the last string of hope I had. And painfully I watched her slip away from this cruel world, until her hand went limp in mine. The last string was cut. The last string of hope.
I snap out of my painful memories. Maybe, just maybe if I surrender to them I will get to see my family again. I whip my head around to a distant crackling of leaves, my red hair flying in front of my face. If I was to surrender, I should give them a good fight first. My family wouldn’t want me to go down with the secret without a fight. Other people deserve to know what the government is keeping from them. Even if I die trying, at least I gave an effort. I feel a single tear slip down my cheek, they wouldn’t want me to give up, they would want me to fight, to be a warrior; but I want to see them.
My conscious feels like its screaming different choices, but it’s not giving me their consequences. What if it’s better that they don’t know? Everyone would be safer; every member of my family would still be alive, every single one. Not just my parents and siblings, but my grandparents who suffered the same horrible fate. I feel a single tear run down my face. And when your time comes we'll be waiting with open arms. I repeat the phrase in my head over and over again, reminding myself that they'll be waiting for me. They'll be there.
I draw in a deep breath, letting the cool air infiltrate my lungs, remembering the tingling sensation it leaves in my throat. I slowly release my breath, the cool wind allows me to see it's swirling patterns until it dissipates into thin air. I sigh, I didn't think I'd miss life until I started thinking about it's perks, but I don't even think those are enough to change my decision, I want to be with my family. I want to go home.
I sink to me knees, I am not going to fight, I will accept my fate. I spread my arms out wide, the over-sized sleeve of my shirt sliding off my shoulder, leaving it exposed to the frigid air. I feel warm tears rushing down my face, they drip onto my jeans, and finally, I put my hands up in surrender.
I hear a gunshot ring out as a sharp wave of nausea rushes over me, I collapse to my back. I feel blood slowly leaking through my shirt, when I pull my hands away from my stomach they are stained red, exactly like my mother's. I smile a weak smile, finally I will get to see them again. Finally after four years.
Memories flood my mind of all the great times I've had with my family. There are too many to count, though most of mine are from watching from above in my tree, but they're still memories. They are some of the best memories of my life. I let my expression form into a frown, am I just being selfish? Am I just so selfish that I wouldn't even try to reveal the secret which keeps us inside this poor excuse of a country? I force the thought out of my mind, it is my decision, not theirs.
I feel my mother's presence next to me, as if she is holding my hand, telling me it's going to be okay and I wasn't going to die, as I did to her. My family seems to be welcoming me, though I did them wrong once, they have seemed to forgive me.
Slowly, I watch my breaths get shallow, they remind me of how my mother's looked before she died. I feel a hand grip mine, as I open my eyes I see my mother kneeling next to me keeping a tight grip on my hand. I feel the light slowly being drained out of my body, after all what they don't know can't hurt you. She is the last thing I see before my world fades to darkness.
