After what seemed like 10 years of being cramped in the plane, they had finally arrived at the famous LAX yet again. Tan's excited, ritual exclaim of "America!" was all the same but the air and feeling of this airport seemed different this time. Maybe it's because they knew "home" wasn't Australia anymore. Maybe it's the thoughts of coming out to her parents that plagued El's thoughts, and in turn gifted her the inability to sleep on the plane. Maybe it's the unfamiliarity that caused panic to Tan; it was El's world now. She was insecure because El needed her back in Australia but now it was Tan who needed El. Maybe it was the dread that would never be spoken of between the two of them.
LA has always been in their lives constantly. There was no real reason for fear. Nonetheless, change was still change. Fear was irrational. But fear... unfortunately always made no error in predictions. Perhaps there's a logic to it.
"Hey, love, are you excited?" Tan rasped, voice still husky with sleep.
"Huh? Yeah, yeah," El murmured halfheartedly as she scrolled through her phone, leaning on the taller girl for support. Tan had her arm hanging off El's shoulder carelessly. They were the perfectly height for each other, really. Tan was tall. El always called her a giraffe although the shorter girl was only three inches shorts than her six feet frame. They were both thin but Tan was more lanky. Her limbs made her seem awkward even, but her personality and the way she carried herself made up for it. She had such a cool girl vibe, the alpha.
"You alright?" Tan leaned away to get a good look of El's face, searching for any signs of trouble.
"Yeah, no worries," El smiled and pecked her on the lips quickly. El was never comfortable with public displays of affection. Perhaps it was the stigma against same-sex relationships, her own fear of being judged, or just an awkward part that belonged in her personality. She couldn't tell. Anyway, her dismissive tone that was clearly forced was enough to signify something was wrong immediately. It didn't even have to be someone close to her to tell.
Tan said nonchalantly under her breath, as to not scare her, "You know you could tell me."
"Of course, I do. Don't worry, Tan. Just jitters." El was never good at lying. Stretching the truth, however, she was good at.
"Alright," Tan murmured as she pressed her lips to her temple, in hopes of being a source of comfort. She didn't believe her but she kept her lips there as she surveyed the area.
They were getting closer to that officer who was always there for random selection. Both being darker skinned, of the non-dominant race, and obviously more subject to racism... fears of random selection and being patted down was always there.
Although, El actually had thought that Tan was white at first. She didn't look Lebanese at all (at the beginning; though her appearances did start to make more sense when she told El her ethnicity); being in Australia, El just thought that Tan was a tanned white girl. This, thankfully, might've been the reason of the relatively small amounts of times of being subject to random selection. Then, as for El, her thinness caused her to look like a model and of course, her beauty had its advantages. They wished that their semi-European features weren't the reason of their luck; but unfortunately, humans were visual creatures and often judged from afar and made assumptions even quicker.
"Tania," El leaned away.
"Yes?"
"You wanna go to Coachella this year? We always miss it when we come."
"If you like, love."
Some woman in their line of sight sneered at their exchange and their PDA. Tan didn't bat an eye. El cringed. Tan has long accepted this, but El somehow havent yet.
After almost three years of being together, homophobia still shocked her. El shrunk into Tan instead of the expected pulling away and Tan tensed. She wondered if she should say something to the lady; she wondered if El would mind. El always minded - being demur and polite was practically integrated into her genes - and would always chide at Tan, saying, "Leave it be, you can't change how the world thinks."
As a pair of hateful eyes met impossibly defying ones, the most defying thing Tan could do was kiss El on the forehead.
