soon to be forgotten (camren oneshot)

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i remember. i remember when we used to be together. i remember the way your face lit up when i made a dumb joke. no matter how stupid they were and even if they didn't make any sense you always found a way to laugh at them causing me to get butterflies due to that contagious smile that i believe belongs to you. i'd never forget your smile lauren.

flashback

we were 15. cuddling on the couch watching a movie that i begged you to put on even though we've already watched it together over a million times. i had my arms wrapped around you. the truth is i never wanted to watch the movie. i just wanted to have excuse to cuddle with you. i stared at the side of your face and watched you smile at something that happened in the movie. we weren't dating yet at the time so i couldn't ever tell you how beautiful you looked or how it makes my heart do cartwheels everytime i see your radiant smile. i wanted to tell you. i couldn't. i didn't want you to suspect anything about me being gay or suspect anything of me liking you "like that". although i never knew how you'd take it i just couldn't take that risk of telling you. i didn't wanna ruin our friendship. i didn't wanna lose you or drop anything that we had.

"camzzzzzz" lauren nagged taking her eyes off the screen.

"yes love?" i replied playing with the baby hairs on the back of her neck.

"tell me a joke"

"hmmm why should i?" i asked her playfully.

"because your jokes are the best duhhhh" she said dragging out the 'h'.

"okay let me think of something" i told her before trying to come up with something quick.

"think fasterrrr"

"are your parents retarded?" i asked her with a dumb grin on my face.

"camz that's not-"

"cause you sure are special" i joked.

"OH MY GOSH WHAT THE FUCK" she busted out laughing. the sound of your perfectly imperfect laugh rang through my ears causing the oxygen in my lungs to vanish. i remember thinking that moment was golden. thinking you were soooo pure and beautiful. even though that joke was stupid and could've easily been taken offensively you still managed to appreciate my joke. putting a smile on your face is one of my favorite things to do, and getting butterflies because of it is my favorite feelings in the world.

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lauren right? i hope i haven't forgotten your name yet. i've forgotten everything and everyone except you. but as more and more time passes by i find my self questioning things with you. i find myself wondering who you are. remembering is becoming harder and harder. i find myself forgetting that your favorite food is sushi, that you like to sleep on the right side of the bed because when you were little the left side always scared you, i'm forgetting shit lauren and i can't help it. but when i think of your eyes i remember everything. i could never forget what your eyes look like. but everytime i look think of them i see your soul and everything comes back to me. maybe it's because in that you look at me like i'm the only thing that matters.

flashback

i was 15 and you were 16. it was friday. we had just left the school building to find out it was pouring outside. good thing you lived about 2 minutes away.