Meh.

2.b

      "The force of impact from the other car had done quite a bit of damage on your legs and back, Mrs. Hardy. We were very very lucky to have saved your legs. However, the nerve damage was not something we were able to repair from when your back was broken. Based on your test results it's very likely you'll not be able to walk for the rest of your life."  The doctor had given me and my husband a sorrowful smile and patted Tom on the shoulder before making his exit.

888

      Throughout the few weeks that I'd been in the hospital, there were many of our friends and family that had come to visit me and wish me a speedy recovery. I was very thankful, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel off. I was seeing a specialist to help me adjust to life without using my legs. It's definitely been hard, but with Tom there beside me, I didn't feel like I was alone in all of this.

      He was wheeling me to his car, a nurse trailing him to assist in transferring me from wheelchair to seat, when I suddenly felt reality hit. There were paparazzi lined up in the hospital lobby as I was being wheeled out by Tom. Had my accident been reported to the media? What were they saying about me? A large man - whom I realized later was Tom's body guard - had come up from behind us to guide the media away from us, but their flashes and shouting made anxiety and panic rise up in me. 

      "Don't look at them, love. Just listen to my voice, yeah? Don't focus on them, I know it's a lot, but just listen to my voice, we'll be in the car shortly and home not long after that. Ok? I'll get you home and in some peace and quiet, Yeah?" Tom's voice felt like a security blanket over my frazzled mind. I nodded with a wary smile, before looking down and away from the passing flashes. It wasn't but a moment later that we reached the car. By then Marcus and hospital security had been lined up around the car door where I was to be transferred to.

888

      I was in a brand new wheelchair, despite my insistance of my original chair (something that Tom insisted was much more suitable and useful than the hospital issued chair), parked in the backyard overlooking the beaches of Los Angeles. It'd been a total of two months since I was in that accident, after a few more weeks in London, Tom really couldn't stay away from work, but neither of us wanted to be apart from each other. Especially since I was still adjusting to such a drastic change in my life. Again when we landed at LAX, there were many, many, paparazzi around the airport as we departed from the facility and towards our property in Malibu.

      I was absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of my blouse, while staring at the sunset and waiting for Tom to come home from a long day of shooting his new project. We had been married for a short period of almost three years, and I knew that with time we were planning on having children, making a proper family for the both of us to be in.
      However, now that I was incapacitated, I severely doubted that it was possible anymore. The thought that I might not be able to have children anymore brought tears to my eyes. I knew it was something that I had always wanted, and I knew that Tom would've liked a child or two as well at some point.

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      It was late in the evening when Tom had come home, but I was already deep in my sleep. I convinced my caretaker to leave for the night, knowing that she'd been staying the nights when Tom had late shoots to help reposition me in bed. "I just don't want you to get pressure sores." She would say. When she finally left I got ready for bed and tried to wait for Tom to come home, but sleep had other plans for me that night.

      The glare of the headlights and the reflection of the sun off the hood of the car blinded me as I tried to swerve, but the car wouldn't budge. I was shaken awake by gentle hands and a soothing voice in my ear. 

      "It's alright, Love. You're alright. I'm here, and you're here. You're alright." He whispered comforting words in my ears until I settled down. "Where's Janine, Laura?" Tom asked once I was settled.

      "I let her leave for the night. I didn't want her to keep staying the night. I feel helpless every time she has to flip me. I have arms, you know." I wasn't in anyway mad or angry at Tom, or even Janine for that fact. I was just miffed at myself that I couldn't do everything myself like I used to.

      "I know, love, I know. Until your physical therapist says you can sleep through the whole night without having someone reposition you, she's just gonna have to stay the night," Tom said.

      I sighed at this truth, but I didn't want her here over the nights. "Why can't you do it in the evenings? I know you'll be home in the evenings anyways." 

      "If that's what you want, love. I'll be there every step of the way." He pressed a kiss to my temple before gently pulling back the covers. Tom helped me turn to lie on my side, and when he was done, he had given me a light massage. "I read that massaging the limbs helps with blood flow, which then helps with nerve damage." He said. His low timbre helping me ease into sleep once more. There was a pregnant silence between the two of us, before I spoke up.

      "I'm scared, Tom. We've wanted to have kids, and, and have a family. What if we can't have that anymore," I whispered.

      "I'm sure we'll still be able to have a family, Love. Maybe the way we go about having kids and raising them might be more different than you and I might've planned, but we'll get it done. I know we will.