Chasing the Browns

Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Two

‘I can’t be here,’ I whispered. But I was, anyway.

His eyes were sad when they met mine. ‘Why not?’

‘I…I don’t feel safe,’ I mumbled.

‘Lea, I understand. Y—’

‘No, you don’t understand!’ I tried to calm the anger that was building up inside me. ‘Almost everyday, I feel like someone’s watching me, just waiting for the right moment to come take me away and…and kill me!’ I shuddered at the thought. ‘At any moment, I could die without even knowing it…and the worst part? I c-can’t stop it,’ I finished, my voice wobbling with tears.

He wrapped his arms around me. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered into my hair. ‘I’m sorry that I can’t do anything about it.’ His arms tightened around me, making me feel warm.

I melted into his chest, smiling at the feel of his heartbeat beneath my cheek. ‘But I always feel safe with you,’ I whispered.

He dropped a soft kiss on my neck. ‘I love you, Lea. Do you know that?’

My breath hitched. No matter how many times he said it, my reaction would always be more or less the same. I smiled. ‘Yeah, Nicholas, I do.’

I woke up from the dream, a surge of disappointment going through me. There was another feeling, too, but I couldn’t touch on it…

I sat up in my bed, still smiling at the dream. I knew what the feeling was: longing. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I wanted the life I had in my dreams. Not this messed up, twisted thing it was now.

I shuddered as the memories came rushing back. The feeling of longing was replaced with a haunting cold, and no matter how tightly I wrapped my duvet around me, it wouldn’t go away.

I got up, brushed my teeth, left my hair as the raggedy bush it was, and didn’t bother changing out of my pyjamas. It was ten past ten; if there was school today, Mum would have woken me up by now, so I assumed that there wasn’t.

I trudged downstairs, surprised to see Dad at the table. Mum was by the kettle, making him a cup of coffee even though there was already one in front of him. She glanced over at me, giving me a small smile, but her face was wary.

Dad had his head in his hands. Oh no, had they told him already?

‘Dad, are you OK?’ I asked quietly, walking over to Mum, taking the tub of instant hot chocolate.

He looked up. ‘No,’ he muttered, sighing. ‘You were at the office yesterday, right?’

My eyes widened. Oh no, had he gotten a note, too? Was I being framed about writing the email?

Had he seen the picture that I’d deleted?

Even though I’d deleted the email account and the email draft, they’d both magically reappeared. What if the picture of me with the email draft had been sent back?

My grip on the tub of instant hot chocolate tightened. Mum gave me a weird look. I glanced away, spooning some of the hot chocolate into a mug. ‘Y-yeah.’

My hand shook as I poured the boiling water from the kettle into my mug. Some of the water missed the mug and splashed onto the worktop and the floor.

Mum gave me a disdainful look. ‘Lea!’

I rolled my eyes and cleaned it up before sitting down at the table in front of Dad. ‘What are you going to do?’

He fingered the rim of his coffee cup, shrugging helplessly. ‘I’ve asked my lawyer, but things aren’t looking good. I mean, the email has my signature. How could someone get my signature?’