IT HURTS A LOT (COMPLETED)

Chapter-22

Nandini the day is abt to end... Ab sab kuch it will be the same right...?? Tum firsey wohi emotionless nandini ban jaaogi naa...

Nandini was sitting silently.. She didn't spoke anything...

M:Nandini still we r on break so u can speak ur heart out...

N: Kya bolu..?? Kuch samajh nahi aarahaa..

M: Nandini the life u hv left is a gift.. Cherish it... Enjoy it to the fullest... I knw its hard... Bt once start to search the reason for being happy rather than being sad.. M sure u will feel bttr... You always don't need a plan.. Sometimes u jst need is to breathe..trust..let go n see wat happens...!!

N: My life manik.. Its definitely not a gift.. Its jst a curse... Aur in this curse there's no happiness.. Not at all... I hv nothg left to live for...

Tum nahi samjhte ho manik how does it feel when there's no reason left for ur survival... 

M: Main nahi samajhtaa nandini like really... I understand everything... I can feel the pain u r going through..Pata hain nandini after i left u i was jst living like a dead soul... Jis andhere se tumne mera ristaa khatam kardiyaa thaa uss andhere ko main firsey apni zindagi banaali thi...

In US we were hving our workshop... Fir our first album preparation... I use to make myself that i could distract myself frm ur thoughts..The first person that came to my mind in morning n night was jst u coz the only person we remember before going to sleep n after waking up is either the person who gve u happiness or the one who hurt u the most n u were both for me nandini... Everyday i use to go to bed i wished to die in my sleep.. Yaa i really wanted to die.. Yeh zindagi mujhe sazaa lagne lagi thi...

Samajh hi nahi ataa thaa wat should i do or how should i react on anything.. Kisi cheez par happiness vi feel nahi hotaa thaa aur gum ki toh baat hi mat karo.. Uski toh aadat si pad chuki thi... Then suddenly after 4 yrs i met u.. Look at destiny... They made us share the same roof.. Achanak se in a party u get drunk n speak ur heart out..  Then after the truth revelation i felt more guilty.. I jst wanted to kill myself more than that days we were not together... Yaa u knw woh regretion it made me feel so heavy hearted.. Mujhe toh kuch samajh hi nahi aayaa thaa ki wat shall i do now.. Karu toh karu kyaa... Tumse nazre milaaney ki himmat nahi ho rahi thii... The pain of guilt was killing me.. U know the more that day i regret was u lost everyone bcoz of me.. Yeah kahi naa kahi uss cheez mey  meri hi galti thi as u nyonika meri mother hain... I could feel the  guilt on my head that some innocent one jst lost their lives due to my stupidity... Jab mujhe pataa chalaa thaa It was all nyonika's doing behind this murder.. Tab i felt little happy coz tumhaare sar sey woh guilt hat gayi..bt i got hurt too coz it was nyonika.. My so called mother.. Uss waqt i felt i did the biggest mistake by involving u in my life even after knowing nyonika so well...  Nahi tum meri zindagi mey aati aur naa yeh sab hotaa...

Arrey kisiki maa aisi hoti hain.. How could anyone go so low...U lost urself bcoz of me.. Seeing u on this condition is more painful then the pain i went in these 4 yrs...  N u r saying ki i couldn't understand ur pain... U think i couldn't feel ur pain nandini... Tumsey jada dard mujhe hotaa hain seeing u this way...