Waiting Outside the Lines

Where She Thinks it's Love

"Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
-Bob Marley

Flashback

It felt like I was in a foreign world completely different from the Clans I was raised around. Instead of the friendship, love, and cooperation that RiverClan had with their warriors, I was in a depressing and hopeless place full of murderous strangers that hate me. Not one cat was here to ask if I was OK, or was even there to give me emotional support. There would be no one but myself to save me.

Sometimes I felt sadness and pain tearing me apart, and other times I didn't feel anything at all. I didn't remember the names of these strangers and I didn't care to. They didn't care to remember my name either, they just knew that I was Cora's mate and they hated it. For some reason beyond my understanding, they were jealous of me. Most of the rogues wanted to be Cora's mate.

Over the next few moons, my mind manipulated the situation so it seemed more positive that it actually was. I didn't feel nearly as upset when Cora held me because a part of me gave up hope that any of this would change.

When she mated with me, that was a different story. No matter how many times she did it I felt used, embarrassed, and ashamed.

I was in our den waiting for her to come back. That's how she wanted it to be after all: me laying on the ground obediently waiting for her to decide what to do with me next.

"Yes...she would make a great mate!"

What? My heart stopped when I heard Cora's voice outside, talking about someone else.

"She's quiet and obedient!" Cora purred. "Unlike that stubborn rat that I've had to put up with for seven moons. Hell, even Connor wasn't as incompetent as her. Rogues! Get Blaze out of my den and in front of me!"

What? Was I that horrible of a mate? I didn't have time to ask as I felt two rogues sink their teeth into the fur around my shoulders and began to drag me out of the den that I was held captive in and dumped me in front of the cat who forced the title of lover upon me. There was no love in her eyes, only hate and resentment.

As usual.

I saw the plump black and brown she-cat look at Cora with a content and ditzy gaze, blissfully unaware of how evil the cats around her were. She'll soon see how awful this place really is.

"Get out." Cora snarled looking down at me. Those two words were so surreal, why didn't she kill me or torture me some more?