Alone

   Maybe I am meant to be like this. Sick and with no hope. I don't know one soul that knows how I feel unless they are somewhere I am not which is everywhere other than here a hospital bed in another place I don't want to be. I am Em or Emma but I have never been called my name. Nurses call me sweetie and doctors just test me never caring. My parents are gone to never ever be seen again. I don't understand why I am here and where do I fit in?

   Most days start with blood work and pain, but that's nothing new to me. Some days I have a kid come to visit for student council or some stupid place. They don't enjoy seeing me I can tell. All the people have heard my story and know my whole life.

   As a kid I was always a mis fit and different. All the other kids thought of me as a bad person with no soul. They weren't wrong I have no love or happiness and never have. I was put in the hospital at age 12 for mental and physical reasons. I have a problem where I see things that aren't there teachers worried about me and then I began to randomly fall in the hallways. I am still here for other reasons and will die soon. I know this because I feel like letting go.

   Every day I lay thinking if someone will ever love me or know me for me not a crazy 15 year old girl. I want to be a teen with a boyfriend and bestfriend not in a bed suffering.

   I slowly fall asleep crying wanting to be a regular girl.