god bless the bewildered // proctale

literally nothing but bad steamy making out and then angst

i'm going to hell

((also this jumps right in the middle of the scene bc i just wanted to write the interesting shit first, i'll come back and do the build-up and their first meeting and shit l8r))

'Come now, Hale, I'm a sinner and you know it. Wouldn't you love to cleanse me?'

'No...I...John Proctor, you keep away from me!'

'God damns all liars, Reverend,' Proctor smirked, running a thumb along Hale's jawline.

'Now, Proctor, Proc-,' Hale's words were cut off abruptly as Proctor's mouth slammed into his own. His hands searched for purchase against the courthouse wall, finding none, and he struggled for a brief moment before giving into what he'd longed for so sinfully and throwing his arms around Proctor's neck. 

Hale didn't want to think about what this would mean for him, for his religion, all he wanted to focus on right then was the way Proctor's hands were moving across his back, how his goddamned hat was getting in the way of their lips fully meeting, and Proctor had apparently had the same thought because he broke away, grabbed the hat and flung it across the room before taking Hale's face in both hands and kissing him, hard. Proctor was biting Hale's lip, moving his mouth hungrily and Hale was enjoying it.

'You ever think about me, when you were up there with Abigail?' Hale murmured against Proctor's lips.

'You are a broken minister, sir,' whispered Proctor, a half-smile breaching his weathered face, and then suddenly his hand was against Hale's throat, backing him into the wall and pinning him with his hips. 

A shocked gasp escaped Hale when his back slammed into the hard surface of the building and Proctor crushed his lips against the Reverend's in a bruising kiss, forcing him to submit. Hale grabbed the other man's hair, pulling the dark locks so Proctor grunted and his grip tightened, his body grinding against Hale's and one hand trailing downwards. Although he was certainly savouring this experience, that was too far for Hale and he pulled away, panting, his hair damp with sweat and more than just a pistol in his pocket. 

'Proctor, we cannot-'

Proctor leant against the wall and stared at him, an eyebrow raised. Hale looked abashed.

'We do not mention this.'

'I shall see you again?' 

Hale sighed. 'John, what we - what we have just done...I am not sure if it is right to continue it. It is my duty as a minister to stay faithful with God and-'

Proctor interrupted, his eyes burning with passion and fury.

'To hell with God! I say God is dead! I know only that I care for you, John Hale, as strongly as I have cared for any other harlot in this village and I'll be damned if you don't feel the same. Not five minutes ago you were holding me like a lover and now you are saying that it is not right. You loved me then and whatever sin it is, you love me yet!'

'John. I may think of you softly but we cannot - we must not - engage like this. Put it out of mind.'

Proctor laughed coldly. 

'You give me this, then bid me tear the light out of my eyes? Reverend, you know me better.' 

He turned abruptly and strode out, leaving Hale standing alone in the dark courtroom.

woooo this is really short and awful and cringey but there you have it some gay 17th century almost-smut hope u enjoyed