The Athlete.
The Cute One.
The "Perfect" One.
The Noticed One.
The Loved One.
He possesses all these qualities.
But no,
I am nothing.
I am just simply
There.
In this world,
I am worthless.
I feel like no one even cares that I'm
Here.
The Monster competes with me.
He fights me.
Verbally.
Physically.
Everything in between.
His disgusting personality.
His excessive use of hatred.
His ugliness.
Inside and
Out.
He plays me like a game.
But if I try to
Fight back,
I will get in trouble.
Big trouble.
Enough to say goodbye.
Temporarily.
Or for a while.
They say they love me.
But do they?
I've asked myself
over and over
again and again.
I think they do.
But in comparison to
The Monster,
Am I even there?
Just send me away.
While The Monster gets
All your love.
I am forced to leave
by force or even by
choice.
In fear of
embarrassment
segregation
loneliness.
Or by
being
Ridiculed
Judged.
It's a feeling like no other.
No love.
I know I am loved
But The Monster takes it away.
You don't care.
Constantly
Screaming
Laughing
Freaking Out.
On me
and only me.
While that terrible thing I call
The Monster
just sits there
and laughs.
His creepy grin.
Boils my angry up to the
Highest point,
that can tip me over
The Edge.
But only to find that The Edge has
Nothing.
Nothing for me to hold on to,
To cry on,
To talk to,
n o t h i n g.
His awfulness,
His REAL awfulness
is only seen through my
crying eyes.
My feelings
no one can describe.
Because while you think I am
Happy
Funny
Lively.
Why, I.
I have scars that no one can
ever
Feel.
Because of
The Monster,
My life is nothing but a
Disaster.
Worry.
Fear.
I will always compete,
Always scream
Always cry
Always fight
the never ending battle with
The Monster.
