i lay here in bed where i routinely cry about you & miss the moments we had together,
wondering how i couldn't possibly be feeling any better
where the hatred i have for you is as nonexistent as the love you had for me,
i lay here silent and broken over all the red flags i failed to see
you got me drunk when you wanted me & ignored me when you didn't
the love i had for you clearly pushed me over the limit
i was your toy, you played with me when you had nothing else to do
how in the hell did you not realize everything you were putting me through
i told myself it wasn't love and that i would be fine when you chose to leave
little did i know, that 9 months later id still lay in bed unable to breathe
i wonder if it was all a game, all just a joke you continued to play
because i still question my self worth each and every day.
k.g.
