To Refind Love

Chapter 5

I can hear Earl and Laila running around in the bedroom near by, probably playing castle or something and the sound of Uncle Herrix driving the truck out of the garage. I'm still not used to all of these noises, because Mom and I were late and quiet sleepers.

I push the duvet off of my bed and gradually open my eyes. Ahh, the sun is really bright. It  usually is though and I like it. I guess it sort of gives my morning a happy feeling and a little hope. Some mornings I don't want to get up at all. I just want to lie in Mom's silky lavender t-shirt and cry.

I kept her t-shirt and some of her items so I could remember her and never forget her. When I breath in the scent of the t-shirt it makes me hope that Mom is actually back, but I disappoint myself every time, and now I tell myself over and over again that she won't ever come back. It's impossible.

I take out my phone from the drawer beside my bed and look through the messages. Mayla has sent a billion texts; 

I miss you soooo soooo much!!!!!

omg I'm soooooo sorry about what happened I don't know what to say.

Visit sometime,

byeeee

luv ya

xoxoxo

I smile and roll my eyes. Mayla was a good friend of mine sure, but she never really had any sympathy for people. I mean the blank stare emoji's and the crying emoji's? Seriously? My Mom died and you send me some texts with little emoji's? Yep that sure makes me feel better. I know I shouldn't be so harsh but I thought that being a close friend would mean more than that.

I look for more messages and find one from Lynnda;

Cammryn,

first of all I'm so sorry to hear what happened from your Mom, I cried for you and I know that u'r probably going through a lot right now. I called you many times but of course you must be really busy right now with all that has happened.

I wish we could've had a proper goodbye and everything, I asked my mom about coming to visit you sometime soon.

I feel terrible about all you had to go through and honestly my heart hurts. I know I'd feel beyond the whole section of synonyms for "sad" in the thesaurus.

If you read my message and want to call sometime I'd be happy to talk,

I'll always be hear for you,

Love Lynnie

I feel a tinge of guilt after I read her text. She called me about 20 bazillion times in the last four weeks and I didn't answer any. Well to be honest I didn't use my phone for the past month so it isn't my fault. I feel brighter though, knowing my bestie understands and has my back.

I put my phone away and pull on some jagged denim cut offs and a baggy red Yankee's shirt over a white kami. I brush my hair and leave it, because these days I'm not really bothered to do anything with my hair.

"Today we thought we might go out on our friends boat for the afternoon and have some snacks and we're wondering whether you would like to come?" Uncle Herrix asks at lunch.   

I take a bite of thick raisin toast. I don't want to turn down his invitation but I really just wanted to be alone today. "I would love to come sometime, but today I just wanted to work on some things and read or something. Is that ok?" I ask.

"Absolutely fine." Said Rai. "We can give you a house key so that you can go out or go to the beach if you want." She adds.

I'm glad she trusts me, even though I've only been living with her for two weeks. I don't think she'll ever be as close to me as my Mom was, but I think that she might be really helpful and fun in the future.

After lunch I walk out to the chair swing. I've got the whole day to myself on this new island which I guess I'll start calling "Home". It still seems weird to say that though but I guess, like uncle Herrix said, things will happen and become normal after some time.

I stare at the cloudless, bright, blue sky.

What should I do today?

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