Destiel // numb, fallen angel

The stars aren't all pretty

"SAMMY!" Dean screamed. It's been 4 days since he took sam. Bobby hadn't heard of anything and dean was so driven that he was starting to go mad. He hadn't slept in four days. He hadn't eaten either.

He then returned home after staying up until 4am looking for Sam, it was hopeless. He wasn't anywhere, he just vanished. So many thoughts entered Dean's mind. He could be abusing Sam, hurting him, messing with his childhood. He only just made a friend and now that was ripped from him. And a huge chunk of Dean was ripped from him too. Dean barely spoke to anyone, and when he did it was the mailman and he spoke with anger and sadness. Every time he thought of Sam he use to feel like poison was running through his blood, slowly sucking out the life he had. But now, he didn't feel. All emotions have been torn out of Dean. He didn't feel angry or sad. He felt nothing. It's like Sam brought him life and was the only thing keeping Dean alive. A few hours had passed and Dean received a call from Sam's school, asking if he was bunking. Dean just hung up the phone without replying. He couldn't bring himself to talk, to do anything. His face was pale, his eyes were tired and dull. His expression was emotionless. He slouched everywhere going about things in a slow, slurred pace. He was slowly being taken into the abyss and he couldn't climb back out, not without Sam. He lost his mother, his brother, whenever he next sees him, his father. All he had left was Bobby, who lived a few hours away and Dean couldn't drive, not in his state. And Bobby didn't know how bad it was.

It's been another day of the same routine. He would sit there looking at the ceiling until it was dark. But this time he didn't go out. He just sat there looking up. Pressure was building in on him. All his emotions came back at once. He cried, laughed, punch the wall and eventually he couldn't take it and screamed. He screamed and just ran out of the house, he just ran.

He stopped. He had reached the cliffs. His eyes welled up with tears. But he held them back. He didn't let himself cry, he couldn't. He just stood there staring down the cliff face. Every thought crossed his mind then and there. He was so prepared. Life without Sammy was so unbearable, he was barely living. He knew he couldn't go on and that Sam was long gone. He couldn't fight any more. He got right to the edge of the cliff. He was so close to the edge, that a tear fell down into the water below, falling so softly into the ocean. He gazed up, at the sky. It was dark. Silent. He spread his arms out and closed his eyes, and stepped forward. His final step forward.

Abruptly, Dean got pulled back by his shirt. He fell to the floor. Breathing rapidly, eyes wide open, confused on what had just happened. Behind him stood a man whose cyan eyes glistened in the moonlight. It was Cas.

"Dean..." he said panting through the words, "are you okay? What is going on?"

Dean started crying uncontrollably. Cas embraced Dean, tears started welling up in Cas' eyes. They were both on the cold concrete rocking back and forth.

Eventually, Dean calmed down and cas managed to put him in his car. He brought him to his house to look after for the night. During the car journey, Dean finally fell asleep.

Cas didn't sleep that night, he was too busy watching Dean, making sure he was okay. A couple of hours later Dean awoke from a nightmare. He was terrified. Cas swooped in and sat down next to him and in a concerning tone asked what had happened.

Dean didn't talk, he couldn't talk. He couldn't find words and when he found them he could never find the strength to say them.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm going to ask you a few questions: nod for yes and shake for no, got it?" Dean nodded

"Good, okay. Are you thirsty?" Dean nodded again and cas got him a glass of water. A few irrelevant questions later Dean calmed down and could talk. Cas had ask what happened and Dean told him everything he knew.