The Devils Right Hand

Prologue

Crazy how we think we understand or know the meaning of love. We just fill our own heads up with crazy thoughts that are far to realistic to happen or be real. When I say 'I love you' I don't even know the real meaning or feeling of it, I just go by what I think it is.

Love.

The feeling of wanting to give someone your all no matter if you have nothing to give. The feeling of having someone always there for you, reassurance, and comfort. This boy had drove me insane, by the way he would laugh, his smile, hair, and personality, I was so obsessed and in love with him that I felt stuck. We found our love in a hopeless place, but he gave me so much hope that no matter how hard things had got or were gonna get through it together, he wasnt gonna give up on me like everyone else has. Ever since the beginning of it all I keep telling myself that nothing ever lasts forever and to not get my hopes up. So I listened to myself, but then I also began to listen and believe everything he was saying. Of course none of it turned out to be true in the end and of course I was left disappointed again. I was just looking for a certain type of affection and I'm pretty sure he was too. Or was i just telling myself he was? Because honeslty i had no complete clue if the stuff he had told and promised me was true. I did everything I possibly could to not fight or get mad, or be jealous and upset with him. He made me feel so insane that I'd do anything for him no matter how big or how small it was. So insane that I'd find anyway just to see him or hear his voice. Like I said before I was in love.

Madly.

This boy was something else. Maybe it was the fact he'd been hurt by other girls in the past. Or the fact he was done with his hoe days. (Or so I thought.) I don't know, but I honeslty never understood why he even wanted me in the beginning of it all. I guess he just needed me as much as I need him.