What's The Word

...technically... ...,but...

"Yes, I love you, but technically he's my husband." Her voice calmed my inner rage. I felt so silly for my previous slip.
Her twins were turning 7 and I was there once again. Just like before. I watched her husband walk over and pick up their daughter.
When the party was over I left back to my apartment.
Technically we are in love, but nobody knows.
Time has passed just as it always does. Slowly without her.
My phone rang Wednesday night, i knew who it was so immediately answered. Excitement getting the best of me.
As soon as I answered she began rambling. She talked of her daughter, Marrie, an adventurous spirit, "Yeh technically I lied to her, saying the stove is the devil, but I couldn't let her burn herself." I heard the guilt in her voice. I quickly moved to reassure her that she was justified in her judgement call. "Technically his birthday isn't until this Saturday, but I couldn't resist the puppy eyes." Her son Joseph was a smart boy. He knows how to play his mother. She and I both knew that's what he was doing, but we never talked of it. I smiled at her. Angel, my love, is always with me in my thoughts. She keeps me sane.
Technically this was supposed to be a business call but just like all the other calls for the past year, it's so much more. "Technically I haven't addressed David and I getting a divorce, but he and I will separate." Once again those words left her lips. They always start the same way, "Technically...".
I began to think of the previous encounters. When she was feeling guilty, "Technically, this isn't right, but I just can't help myself." When she was working her way into my heart, "Technically, I'm married to David, but your my one true love." When she was seducing me, "Technically, this will get me into hell, but your worth the ride." Her smile was enough to get me into bed, that was just overkill.
The days past until Saturday finally arrived. I am excited to say the least. I arrive precisely at my appointed time. I knew David would be there, but when he announced me at the kid's party it still made my blood boil.
Later I found myself watching David die before me. Nothing I could do. Nothing to save him. He died Infront of me. Wheezing his last breaths while I stood helpless. Guilt was speaking to me. Yet I still managed to say, "Technically, I'm just the clown at his kids birthday parties but I'm still his murderer."