The Bucket List

1

Chapter 1- The Bucket List

"I'm going to die." I silently whispered. I can't believe it has come to this. It was just moments ago when me and my mother were having a good time. We were having dinner together when I suddenly felt the urge to hurl and I nearly fainted at the restaurant.

And now I'm just sitting in the bathroom tile floor at the hospital after hearing the news that I have stage 2 cancer. How is this even possible? Just 4 hours ago nothing was wrong and now it's like my life has fallen apart. It's breaking me. I never thought this day would come to ever hear such cruelty news about me. The doctor says that the cancer has spread and it's mostly will last me about seven months before everything goes wrong and there's a possibility I might die.

My heart clutch together tightly making it hard for me to breathe. I had problems before but my doctor put in too much hope into my heart, making me believe that I was going to be okay, that I was going to live until I grow old, have a family, and maybe have my own journey.

And now all my hopes are crushed because there's a possibility that I won't even survive this year.

"Honey you need come out." my mother voice whispered in a worried tone on the other end of the bathroom door.

It was like my knees were too weak to even get up from the tile floors. This news has broken me. how will I be able to cope?

"Honey please open up," my mother voice croaked, I was hurting her, my reaction about this news left her heartbroken.

Slowly and steady I began to rise up from the tile floor in the bathroom. Putting my hand on the bathroom door knob I slowly unlock the door as my mother came rushing to my side giving me a big hug

A pool of wetness clung to my shirt as I felt my mother's tears.

"It's going to me okay." she whispered into my ear as I sobbed onto my mother's shoulder.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One month later and I'm stuck all alone. Just one month from hearing my terrible news sadly my mother passed away, from a severe heart attack. I cried and cried myself to sleep every single day it's like my life was getting worse by the minute. I was losing everything I loved or the only thing that I loved.

I sometimes think why bad things happen to me. Losing my mother is like losing a part of me. I'd rather die before she died herself. I was in so much pain and I'm still in pain. I want things to get better but I don't know where to start. I need to sign something to guide me, to lead me, to teach me how to find my happy ending before I leave this world.

I was home alone for no one to hold me, to help me through my pain. I've never had a lot of friends after my mother's death and my sudden news made me push everybody away from me. I pack my things and instantly search for a fresh new start. But it looks like it never helped me through the pain, I needed a way to cope.

Not to mention that I still have 6 more months to live. I've been visiting the doctor every two weeks for my chemotherapy but it looks like it's getting a little bit worse. I'm trying my best to fight it so far I've not gotten deep into the cancer, my hair still here and I'm praying that I survived it.

As I got up from my bed I rolled over to walk into the kitchen area to brew me a cup of coffee. After the coffee was steaming hot I grabbed the mug of coffee and set down alone inside the living area to turn on the TV. Switching on the TV I decided to turn the channel to find something good to watch.

This was my daily routine to do everyday, I wake up, get a cup of coffee and watch TV to a fall back asleep on the weekends. Pretty boring right?

I only have part-time job at the coffee shop I didn't really have to work that much. After my mother's death she left me tons of money and since I only have a few months to live I didn't need to work much. I needed to do something to spend my time, creating new memories before I leave this earth. But I'm trying. I've been so caught up into my mother's death that I didn't really realize that my life is ending soon.

As I turn to watch the TV I took a sip of my hot coffee and eagerly watched the television screen. A movie was playing and as it started the title of the movie was "The Bucket List."

I furrow my eyebrows. It looked to be a old movie that I've never came across to ever watching.

Not knowing what else to watch I sat on my couch just watching the movie. As I was watching the movie it got me thinking.

Is this where I start? Is this my new beginning? My mind wandered.

Should I even consider trying this? Making a bucket list before I disappear for good from this world?

I knew this was a long shot at trying something new, but if it'll help me from this pain should I do it?

Before I can comprehend what I was doing my legs started to walk into my bedroom as I grab a pen and paper. I had started to write on the blank sheet of paper. Just before you know it I had wrote 10 things on my bucket list that I would like to do. Biting my lip I stared at my writing. This is beyond crazy, just by watching a movie it gave me this thought. But would it hurt to try? I was curious if I could finish my bucket list. Could this help my pain? Could it make me forget the pain? I needed to do something. Even if I had to pretend and hide the pain while I fake smile and pretend that I'm okay.

My eyes scan my bucket list one more time, before I made my final decision.

1. Sky Diving

2. Visit the Club

3. Visit Europe

4. Go Cart Driving

5. Adopt a dog

6. Donate to a Charity

7. Zip Lining

8.  Dye my hair

9. Underwater Diving

10. Eat a whole packet of oreos

I mean it couldn't hurt right? I have less than a year before I'm gone, and yet I'm here crying about my mother death. Yes it was sad and it broke my heart, but my heart just knew my mom wouldn't want me to grieve. She'd want me to move on, especially with the oh so much little time I have left. She'd want me to be happy and enjoy my life. I knew for sure because before she died she told me to make memories. Meet new people, and have an adventure. A tear rolled down my cheek just thinking about her.

Just maybe making this list would help me accomplish my mother's goals for me. And I didn't want to fail her. I didn't want to let her down even if she was gone forever. 

I sigh, this is going to hard to complete. but the real question is... will I be able to accomplish everything from my list before I die?