The Bond That Never Breaks

Dan's story

Hello Internet.

You may know me from the thing called youtube like the thing your probably watching me on, but not to recently my dad got really sick and the doctors said it was... cancer, but it was leukemia, it's a very deadly type of cancer. It's a cancer of blood-forming tissues, hindering the body's ability to fight infection. But the doctors said they can try to save him but it isn't treatable so he only has about a week to live so send me and my dad some good luck vibes and hope that is the cure to help my dad and ... i'm sorry about that had to blow my noes, i'm getting so emotional wow, okay, what were we talking about, oh yeah, my dad, yeah he need all the love and support you guys and girls can give, and, thanks.

-A week after the video was recorded-

MY DAD IS DEAD, MY DAD IS DEAD, what do I do now, he was my inspiration to make videos and now I don't now what to do. Do I tell my subscribers what happened or Phil. I don't know what to do, wait I know I should kill myself so I can be with him in heaven. "Daniel Howell what are you doing put that razor down you could hurt yourself baby." Mom let me be with dad he was the only one who cared for me, all you did was start problems and get drunk, and never did anything for me in my life and now you want to start caring for me when dad dies how shameful do you feel, leaving at night with your baby crying all alone no one to help it and now you want to help, after 25 years later you won't get your ass up and start helping your family out. " You were such a great baby you never cried not once how I was gifted with the most greatest baby for such a worthless mother like me. Your father won't wan't you to kill yourself for him, he would want  you to grow and live your life and party he was proud that you found a friend that cared so much about you and how Phil was right there by your side even through the hardest time in your life and he will always be with you now I texted him to meet us at the hospital to watch you and comfort you. I never wanted to leave you but I had no choice my life was always filled with bumps and one of those bumps was to leave you with your father and that was the hardest time in my life and I hope I don't lose you again." Mom, i, i, ... I love you.

2 weeks after Dan's father died

Ahhhhhhhhh, I won't stop cutting myself until I die and no one can tell me to stop. "Dan stop, you need to stop this isn't going to bring your father back and this is making you go crazy and, and, you need to stop." Phil you don't know nothing about my life and the struggle I went through how it feels to lose the things you love and watch there hopelessness, watching then decay slowly, how much pain he went through and all I did was watch him suffer with my own eyes. You don't know nothing Phil, nothing. "Your right I don't, and I don't want to lose you Dan not now, not today. Dan I can't lose you, not like this I need you Dan the world need, dan please stop, I won't to share your suffering to me to see how it feels but not like this, not today, not ever." This is the only thing that can bring me happiness in my miserable life that I rot away in and live in my filth if fear and for 7 years I suffered I never showed it on camera but I died a little every day for the 7 years of my life you left to do your, what ever, I need help, and kill myself is the only cure for me, the only cure I need in life is death.
(Phil take the blade away from Dan)
Phil stop, atop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP! "Dan you need help, real help." Phil please just let me be with my father just, please, he will won't for me to be free to let go of all the pain and suffering he seen me go through and couldn't do anything to help because I was to stubborn to listen to him and do anything for him, all I did was yell at him and made him even more miserable then he was already was, I deserve this, I deserve to die and feel the pain I put him through, he never deserve this I do and I'm going to feel the pain if you just give me the razor, GIVE ME THE RAZOR PHIL, NOW! "No, he loved you even through all of this all the yelling and screaming deep down he loves you and he will always and will love you Dan, don't do this to yourself this isn't the way to do thing and I need help too your not the only one who has a problem in thier life my subscribers are slowly falling from my 4 million subs to 7 thousands because I had to make sure your okay, Dan I'm losing my home because I can't pay for the bills from the youtube monie that we use to make but then you slowly faded away and because of that I have no where to stay and support for myself. Dan I'm going to be arrested for not paying my bills." Are you asking me for help, are you really going to talk to me about forgiveness and your asking me for help, honestly I would say no but your my best friend and who can say no to that face. "Slowly but surely you will be on the road of recovery...

I hope.