Yeah, this is another one of those multiple personality things... which kinda creeps me out myself because... how?
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I killed one of my personalities when I was younger. She returned yesterday.
by Reddit User ackermoon
from r/nosleep
I'm not going to divulge in the immense sob story of my diagnosis and the counseling and whatever else, because you didn't come here for a pity party. I'll just get right down to the chase- I killed her.
I murdered her, in cold blood. Her name was Sally. She has her own sob story of abuse and rape and the other gruesome glories to an eight year old's short life, but none of this is truly significant. She wasn't a protector or a main alter at all, she was just- like the hundreds of others- there. She influenced me rarely and came and went as she so pleased. I didn't mind her absence. It's not that I didn't like her, just that there was no room for her. But, no, that's not why I killed her.
She loved daisies and coloring and playing "Simon Says" and was mousy and quiet. Among the chaos of the others and their screaming, she was rarely heard. Occasionally I did my best to make her feel appreciated but, well, she was a mouse in a hoard of elephants. It felt more proper to say that I controlled her instead of the other way around. She was as good as gone from the beginning and she knew it.
However I must admit, she had an ulterior purpose. Even if it wasn't easily found or recognized, she was still obviously here for a reason. A part of me was determined to find out what that reason was. A part of me, the cruel part- the others- didn't care.
We would often argue. She's unimportant! They would scream. Get rid of her...
Why they were so eager, I didn't know at the time. I tried to shrug them off. But then, finally, the main alter- Arabella- began to agree. And when Arabella makes up her mind, I must, too.
Now, it's important to keep in mind that I was fifteen at the time. I had little professional help when it came to these things. The only thing I knew best was to do as told.
Do it while she's sleeping, Arabella once said.
"How?" I asked.
She shook her head. You figure that out, for once. All you, girly. Goodluck.
For days I thought of ways I could do so. If I killed her, wouldn't that be killing myself, too? I might have had a lot of personalities and little control over them but I was cognizant of the fact that I, deep down somewhere, was different than them, if that makes any sense. I knew that they could control me and become me but I've always known the separation.
I'm not exactly sure how it happened. I've always been a lucid dreamer and so, I beckoned her in a dream. She was sweet and unsuspecting. Oh boy, this would be difficult.
She proudly handed me a flower she'd picked, a daisy, with a smile of 100 watts. I thanked her and looked at her sadly. Deep down, I felt truly bad for the kid. She'd been through so much torture and cruelty at such a young age...
Before I could change my mind, I leaned in for a hug. Oblivious and with a smile, she returned the gestured. Crying, I let my arms slip closer around her neck. I felt her tense as my grip got tighter. She struggled and tapped me in a weak attempt to push me off. She began coughing and convulsing. By then, I slipped my grip down to my palms so that I could... Choke her... Tighter.
She trembled and wheezed. She looked at me with wide and melancholic eyes. Her blue lips parted as if she meant to say something but, with one last jerk, she was gone and the light had departed from her jade eyes. That is the last thing I remember before I woke up.
When I awoke that morning and got ready for school, already I noticed some changes. For some reason, I didn't expect this to work but, the others seemed more cheerful and since they weren't yelling I could listen intently... Her voice wasn't there. In algebra, Arabella personally congratulated me. Carmen, Luna, Melvin, and all the others joined in with their plaudits, too.
What frightened me most was, when I looked for the guilt... It wasn't there.
Sally has since left my memory. That is, until this following week. Lately, things have been misplaced around the house and people I don't even know are mad at me. People begun to text my number looking for Sally and that's when I feared the worst.
I thought I'd gotten rid of her. We thought she was gone, forever.
Before I went and lost my head just yet, I needed to be absolutely certain that she had returned before I brought word of this up to my therapist, just yet.
So how might I do so? Well, I used up all of my earnings from tips to buy a surveillance camera, instead of using it to purchase band tickets as I had originally planned. (I'm twenty, that phase hasn't worn down any more than my jeans have.)
I had my friend Travis help me hook it up since he's hella tech savvy, but I only told him it was for "protection." He bought it, seeing as my apartment's in the "hood" area of the city. No questions asked, which was good for me.
The camera was placed right above the front door and surveyed the kitchen, livingroom, and hallway all at once. I let it collect feed for three days before yesterday, I finally decided to view it.
I watched myself, for these three nights, awake at midnight, dressed in clubbing clothes. I would exit my apartment to return only about an hour later with some guy I'd presumably met at a bar. I would lead him into my bedroom and... I'm sure you can fill in the rest.
But I wasn't sure it was Sally until the last night. After the usual hookup, she took a piece of printer paper and some crayons I had tucked away in some drawer (don't ask me why) and then proceeded to draw and scribble on it intently. After a few minutes, she finished, and then showed it to the camera proudly... With a crazed smile of 100 watts.
On the paper was a drawing of what I could guess to be a daisy and underneath, scribbled the words:
"SALLY SAYS RUN"
- Z
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RUN BITCH RUN *sighs* She dead... she hella dead
