Touch me when the lights go off (it feels better that way).

Luke has the habit to touch Ashton whenever he can and Ashton hates it. Well, he doesn't really hate it, but it makes him nervous.

When they're making a twitcam and Luke caresses softly Ashton's back, it isn't visible on camera, but it worries Ashton anyways. Or when they are on the studio's couch waiting for their turn to record and Luke rubs his leg against Ashton's. Or when the four of them are watching a film and Luke sits as close to him as he can.

All those things, all those little touches make him nervous, but confortable at the same time. And he pushes Luke away everytime it happens, but he never really wanted it to stop.

But it has stopped. Ashton guesses Luke is tired to be rejected, he's tired of Ashton moving away everytime he comes closer to make any contact with his skin.

It has stopped and Ashton misses it.

At first Ashton goes through his days with normality, but everytime he gets into his bed he feels like he misses something, but he doesn't exactly know what it is. Until one day he sees Luke brushing his hand against Calum's and it just clicks in his head.

And now he misses Luke's touch too much.

He's too afraid to make any move in front of the other guys, he doesn't dare to just raise a hand and run his fingers through Luke's hair, so he spends his days with a strange feeling on his stomach, a feeling that he doesn't know what it is, but he doesn't like it. And when the night comes, he gets out of his bed when he knows Michael and Calum are asleep and goes to Luke's bedroom.

Luke's always awake when he gets in bed with him, he's always waiting for him, but he never says anything. Ashton covers the two of them with the blankets as much as he can and he entangles their legs and drapes an arm over Luke's waist, pulling him closer.

They fall asleep like that everyday.

There's one day stuck in Ashton's mind: Luke goes out with Michael and Ashton doesn't see him  until dinner; that night when Ashton hugs Luke in bed, he whispers "I missed you a lot today" and Luke runs his fingers up and down Ashton's arm, as if he's trying to compensate him for not touching him in such a long time.

Since then, hugging Luke at night isn't enough anymore, and Ashton laughs at how the tables have turned when he finds himself touching Luke whenever he can.

And he needs Luke to react to his touches.

It starts with almost accidental touches. Ashton brushes their knees together when he sits next to Luke, he caresses Luke's fingers when the both of them grab the same thing at the same time, or he brushes their shoulders when they're walking next to each other.

But it's still not enough.

So Ashton starts to run his fingers over Luke's leg when they're watching a film, he pets Luke's hair whenever he can, or he puts an arm around Luke's shoulder when they walk together. But Luke doesn't react to all these things until the day that Ashton has an arm around his waist during a radio interview and caresses his side softly, Luke gives up and rests his head on Ashton's shoulder with a sigh.

That night, when Ashton gets into Luke's bed, the younger guy turns around to face him.

Luke's eyes are so blue and so bright Ashton feels like he's looking right at the ocean when he locks their eyes together.

"Hi" Luke whispers and Ashton moves a little bit closer to him under the blankets.

"Hi" he answers, whispering too.

Luke bites his lower lip and then Ashton can feel his hand on his side, over his shirt. Luke pulls up Ashton's shirt and his cold fingers run over his skin, slowly. A shiver goes through Ashton's body and he moves even closer, taking a deep breath.

"What are you doing?" the older boy asks, his voice is low and trembling, but Luke doesn't answer, he licks his lips and keeps stroking Ashton's skin softly.

Ashton puts his hand over Luke's, stopping his movements, and he entangles their fingers.

"I miss you" he whispers again and Luke hides his face into Ashton's neck.

Ashton can feel his heart speeding up as Luke breathes against his skin.

"I don't understand you" Luke mumbles.

"What do you mean?"

Luke looks at Ashton again and swallows hard before he speaks.

"You always pushed me away. Always. I thought... I thought you didn't want me to touch you. I don't know, maybe you were uncomfortable or, just, you didn't like it. So I, I stopped." Luke pauses and takes a breath, looking everywhere but in Ashton's eyes "I thought that that was what you wanted. I thought you didn't want to be near me, or... I don't know, I just thought you wanted me to stop. But then, you just started to sleep with me and to touch me, because all those little touches..." he stops again and pulls his hand out of Ashton's grip to rub his eyes "at first I thought it was my imagination or just an accidental thing, but it kept going and..." he sighs and looks right into Ashton's eyes with a confused expression "And now you're here again. In my bed. And, I don't know what's going on, I don't get you. What happened? What do you want?"

Ashton stares at him with wide eyes and he opens and closes his mouth thinking on what to say, until he finally gets the best answer.

"I was afraid" he whispers, taking Luke's hand in his again "and I'm still afraid, really".

"Afraid of what?" Luke asks and his fingers start to caress Ashton's hand.

Ashton takes a deep breath and he looks at his intertwined hands.

"Afraid of feeling something stronger than what I'm allowed to for you" he says it without looking at Luke and his heart's pounding frantically on his chest. And he's not sure if he wants Luke to answer, but at least it is relief, he finally said it.

Luke keeps quiet for a minute, his fingers always stroking Ashton's skin gently.

"So now... Now you know that you'll never feel something more than friendship for me, don't you?" Luke's voice is really low "That's why you don't push me away anymore, isn't it?"

Ashton raises his head and locks his hazel eyes with Luke's blue ones, they're open wide and bright, too bright.

Ashton shakes his head slowly, Luke bites his bottom lip and he stops his hand.

"Now I know that I've always felt something stronger than friendship for you and it's useless to keep pushing you away. And I miss you so much" Ashton can hear his own heart beats on his ears, they're going too fast, as fast as his breath.

Every second Luke keeps in silence it's one more second Ashton feels like drowning. He was afraid of feeling something else for Luke, now he's fucking scared of losing his bestfriend.

But then Luke's hand is stroking Ashton's again, and it goes up his arm slowly until it reaches his face. Now, Luke's fingers are in Ashton's hair and his eyes are closed and Ashton's heart keeps going too fast as their lips meet, brushing against each other softly, like one more sweet caress.

Luke moans when Ashton pulls him closer, with his arms tight around his waist, and he whispers 'I missed you too' into Ashton's ear when their lips part.

Luke has the habit to touch Ashton whenever he can. Ashton doesn't complain.