Dear Diary(If This was a Movie)

Fifteen

Beneath the chandelier of stars and atmosphere 

Thrust this bare feet in smooth sand that shines like stars in the sky 

The waves crashing the sea line where boats from a distance reflects their light to my eyes 

The wind is blowing and the scent of air  

It's so desolated like the world stopped for a moment 

It is just about me and this solitude night; 

This is the time where I breathe the air away from the world of synergy.

"Do we live in a physical world that we can touch? Or do we live in a world that we create in our minds?

It's an endless thoughts spinning in my head 

When I start holding back my feelings 

When emotions flowing rapidly like the falls meandering down the river of Rockies 

The sky is crying and started to pour 

My hands that is palm open 

Each drop comes from heaven 

And another drop from me 

Like a million little drops spelling out his name  

When you start looking back on things you should know and wish you can go back where it was started. We need to keep our eyes open like everything is changing from a blink of an eye. Time can't heel, people change like seasons change. It's almost 20 years from the day I start to see the reality and realize that reality is the best scenery that I couldn't see before. But from here the bottom of my heart nothing changes.... 

"Direk, anong plano natin sa next scene lumalakas na yung ulan!" crew shouted 

I don't want anyone to see me crying. I just love wandering under this rain coz' nobody knows that I'm crying like a million drops spelling his name.  

"Pack-up na tayo, ipag pabukas na natin yung next scene" 

I'm Stephanie Claire Gomez, a director, singer, composer, photographer and I'm an artist. I don't have permanent work under a company. Mas masaya to, walang pressure, walang stress, walang boss na pipigil sa mga plano ko, kung saan lahat ng bagay kaya kong kontrolin mula sa umpisa hanggang sa huli. Yun bang hawak mo yung mga pangyayari. I really love what I am now. But there are things that are really meant to happen. It's not about me and it's not about anyone who wrote stories and dictate there journey in life. This life is all about him who wrote this crazy, beautiful, tragic life. Being a human being isn't just about living the air we breathe; it's all about living not for you but living for others. Hindi natin kontrolado buhay natin unlike the movies do. People around me keep on saying "frustration mo kasi yan, yung mga bagay na gusto mong mangyari ay mangyari. But it always ended on the opposite side. Nakakatawang isipin na ito yung pinili ko kahit alam ko namang life isn't always the way we want to be.