It was happening again. It happened almost every day, but William refused to leave. He loves me, He would say every time someone would ask why he doesn't leave. William also never left because he never thought the wounds were that bad, at least, the didn't seem that bad. And Gabe only did it when he was drunk, so he didn't mean it, right? Of course, William was having doubts. What victim wouldn't? He refuses to believe he's a victim, though. Even when Gabe comes crashing through the doors at one AM, pulling William out of bed and beating him until he bled, William refuses to acknowledge that it was abuse. It's how he ends up how he is now, hooked up to machines in the hospital, barely alive.
Later, when he wakes up, he doesn't find Gabe by his bed. He isn't surprised by this fact, though. He's probably out getting drunk because of how guilty he feels. William laughs at the irony of it. Gabe; getting drunk because he felt guilty about getting drunk. He sighs. A nurse comes in to give him his medicine and some food, then he's alone again.
Some hours later, he makes a decision.
~
When William got out of the hospital, he immediately got his necessities while Gabe was gone, and then went to his parents' house. His mother pulled him into a tight hug, asking him what was wrong, what did the monster do to him now, while his father stood close, looking as if he was planning to kill Gabe. William shook his head, said Gabe didn't do anything this time, he was just planning to break up with the man. William's mother was happy for him, of course. Both of his parents were happy to see Gabe go. For William, though, he knew this would not be as easy as it seemed. Even though he has been the victim of abuse for a long while, he's still in love with Gabe. When he goes to tell his parents this, his mother interrupts, saying that he's not in love with Gabe, he's in love with what Gabe was. William thinks that's the most accurate thing he's heard all day. He tells her that he will go tomorrow, and then passes out on his old bed.
When he walks up to Gabe's apartment, he knows something will go wrong. His parents had suggested that one of them go with him, but William refused. He knocks on the door softly, and the door opens to reveal a disheveled Gabe. He smiles when he sees William. He wraps his long arms around William in an hug, saying how much his was worried because 'his Bilvy' was missing. William buries his face into Gabe's neck for a second, but then pulls back. He smells like alcohol. WIlliam explains why he wasn't there, and why some of his things are missing. Gabe stares disbelievingly the entire time. When William is done, Gabe asks him if that's why he came, to leave his side forever. WIlliam replies that yes, he's leaving Gabe, and he would like to get his things before he leaves. Gabe steps aside to let him in, says he's going to take a shower while William is packing. He knows he can't stop William from leaving.
While William was in the middle of packing, Gabe comes in, with only a towel slung low on his hips. William tries not to stare as Gabe changes, he really does. He somehow manages to finish packing without doing anything he knows he would regret. He's two feet from the door when he feels hands on his arms, turning him around and pulling him into Gabe's chest. He begs William not to go, and tell him how much his world will fall apart if William walks out the door, all while holding him tight and hiding his face in the shorter man's neck. William pushes him away, tells him his world already fell apart, and walks out the door. Gabe sniffs and closes his door, turning around to the empty apartment. He slides down the door and breaks down into sobs.
2 Years later
Gabe was at a concert. He wasn't sure what band was playing, but they seemed pretty popular. His friend had given him a ticket and an backstage pass, so he's guessing the band is well known to everyone but him. His friend had went off somewhere with a guitar tech, and he was left alone backstage. He was wandering around, waiting for the band come offstage, when he saw an mop of brunette hair and slim, tall body. Gabe hesitantly walked towards the man, hoping it was who he thought it was. Gabe tapped his shoulder, and he immediately turned around. Gabe smiled, said hello. They made some small talk, but Gabe really wanted to tell William what he did. So, he cut William off. He told William about rehab, the meetings, how he hadn't touched a drink since he left. William says that it's good that he decided he didn't want to drink all the time anymore, and he makes it sound like the conversation sound like it's over, but Gabe continues. He tells William about he did that for him, how he hopes William can forgive him, and that he wants to try again, if that's okay with William. William smiles sadly, and says no. Then, a heavily tattooed man comes up and wraps his arms around William. William explains that this is his boyfriend, and introduces him. Gabe offers a hand, and William's boyfriend- Travis- accepts it. Gabe says that he has to go, and runs out the door. He walks for a few blocks, wondering if his friend will notice his absence. He shrugs and pulls out his keys as he approaches his apartment. He still hasn't moved out. He had spent the month after William had left him laying in bed, contemplating death. The only reason he's still alive is his very few close friends had came by once a day each, making sure he ate and everything. He of course didn't tell William this, it wouldn't have made a difference. Gabe tried to calm down, but of he could think of was William and his boyfriend. When had they met? Did they start dating right after William left him? Did Travis help William in ways Gabe had never tried? He sat down on his couch, feeling like he did two years before. He really had nothing to live for now, no hopes to fulfill, no William to look forward to. Gabe sighs, sulking through his apartment and to his room. He looks around his room one last time. The bed with rumpled sheets, the closet, over-flowing with dirty clothes from when Gabe didn't have enough energy to do anything but stand in the shower. He reaches under the bed and pulls out a shoebox, opening it and staring at the object inside. He thinks about leaving a note, but then pushes the thought aside. He has nothing to say. At least, not to most people. He quickly pulls out an index card and a pen, writing his love's name and an 'I love you, forever and always'. Gabe pulls out the gun from the box, cocks it, and pulls the trigger, pointing it to his temple.
~
When William had heard about the death-ahem, suicide- of Gabe, he broke down. Travis had tried to calm him, and has been trying to calm him since. They are the the funeral now, two weeks after Gabe's death. William had heard of the note, and what it said. The fact that the note was the only thing left, and he was the only one that was left a note. He was standing in front of Gabe's coffin at the moment, staring down at his lifeless body while Travis held him through the tears. Travis didn't really understand why William was crying over his past abuser, but he didn't want to do anything to make the fragile boy more upset.
After the funeral, William could not take it. He apologized to Travis, told him he couldn't do this. Travis asked William what he meant, but all William did was apologize and run as fast as possible to his old apartment, his old torture chamber. He walked slowly through the rooms, taking in how almost nothing was clean, besides Gabe's old acoustic in the corner. William runs his finger down the neck of the old guitar and pulls it off to see no dust, almost like Gabe cleaned it yesterday. He walks to Gabe's bed and picks up the pistol from the floor. He looks around to the walls and sees one particular picture. It was a few years ago, back before Gabe had started drinking. They had went out for the day- Gabe's treat. They had went out to the park first, which is where the photo was taken. Gabe and William were sitting on the slide, William in Gabe's lap. They both had bright smiles on their faces, smiling at each other. William had forgotten who took the picture, but he's sure it was either Nate or Alex. William still classifies that day as his favorite day in his entire life. But now, knowing that Gabe is gone, because of him, nonetheless, William really wasn't feeling ready to move anything besides the pistol still in his hand. He slowly moved the gun to his temple, right where Gabe had. As William pulls the trigger, he thinks about that day in the park, and how, if the afterlife was real, he would be joining Gabe, and he would definitely give the man another chance. Forever.
