When life gives you lemons what do you do with them?
Stomp on them? Make lemonade? or squeeze them in others eyes?
None of them you throw them away.
My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of pasta. You should have seen her face as I drove her spaghetti.
How many South Americans does it take to light a light bulb? A Brazilian.
Knock Knock. Who's there? Canoe Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework?
Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me?
Knock Knock. Who's there? Anee. Anee who? Anee to see you.
Knock Knock. Who's there? Iva. Iva who? I'va sore hand from knocking.
Knock Knock. Who's there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to let me in.
Knock Knock. Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little money for the movies.
Knock Knock. Who's there? Avenue. Avenue who? Avenue knocked on this door before.
What goes up and down but doesn't move? Stairs.
What is moving all around us but we cant see it? Air.
Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent.
what is a cow without legs? Ground beef.
A Russian and a American walk into a bathroom. They are talking when all of a sudden the American tells the Russian "European!".
It is Halloween night so you go trick or treating with your family.You go to a house a say trick or treat. You wanna know a joke you ask. if they say sure hold a mirror in their face after they give you the candy.
What goes round and round and never stops? A clock.
What spin and stops when you make it? A fidget spinner.
What goes up and down and you can ride on it? A roller coaster.
What walks on two feet and can stink? A human.
When you see a chicken runs around with its head cut of you would call it cooko.
What did one bonfire say to the other bonfire? Your lit.
What did one reader say to the other reader? Watt are you doing tomorrow.
What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb? Watt's up?
I shook a chicken to get scrambled eggs. Guess what? It didn't work.
Dad: I don't trust those trees. Son: Why not? Dad: They seem pretty shady.
What do you call it when the tectonic plates start racing? Continental drift
I was thinking about moving to Switzerland and the flag is a big plus.
What do you call it when an otter steals something? GTO Grand Theft Otter
Why did the pony want a glass of water? It was a little horse
What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing it just let out a little wine.
Why didn't the baker stop winning awards? He was on a roll
What do you get when a cheese factory explodes? Just some De Brie
