Joel 1; verse 1
T'was the night after the war began. The year is 6969. The firing between the two enemies continued. The loud drumming of gunfire could be heard for miles. But alas what were they fighting for? Well thou shalt not know. But it was muddy, raining; there were dead bodies all around. But a gap in the clouds formed, letting an inch of sunlight seep through. The inch became a foot, the foot became a metre, the metre became a mile, until there wasn't a cloud in sight. The gun fire stopped. All lay silent. But a being of true bliss descended from the heavens above. "Who is that man?" One person cried. The being stopped, floating but a few inches off the ground. "I am no man, no being, for I am your God." He calmly explained. "F...Frizzy-chan?" One man said in disbelief. "Correct, for t's I, the one you call 'Frizzy', and you shall be named my frizzies." The strange Apollo lay down a book before them. "Cease fire, for fire cannot win wars. This book, for which I entrust in thee, crafted of my own soul, is my word. How you were created, why you were created, and how to join me in bliss. " Our lord proclaimed "Remember, swallow, do not spit. I eat ass" Said He as he rose up towards the skies. This was how it all came to be.
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Thanks for reading the first testament, and my first story! This is not true but, portrayed as to be real. I will release the new testament first, and his teachings. Please do not take offence to this it is all a joke. This is based on a friend and the stories will climax to become more sexual and "different." I will try to release a new one every Friday but will post more if i feel like it. I do intend for this to be stupider than it already is. There will also be contributions from others, and from you if you would like to add later on.
-Joel.
