A Friend From Beyond The Oceans

1- Commitement

I forgot to mention that I'm a teacher, a high school physics teacher. Yep! That's what I do in my life.

Being in the teacher's shoes from four hours to six, four days a week, had a huge impact on my life. It turned me to a kind, a helpful, and a trustful person. I was all the time at my students' service, and sometimes under their mercy. They nicknamed me Exactly.

"Guys, Exactly is coming ..."

"She's wearing a new scarf . . . Hahah . . . a red one... "

"She's pretending to be serious ..."

"shit, I forgot to do the homework..."

"seriously! You're in deep shit, bro..."

"Exactly... hahah"

hahah ... hahah ... hahah ...

I never saw the same day twice; being surrounded by teenagers four days a week, was a constant reminder of how life was speeding. I was like them once, and in my mind, it was just yesterday. That's why I believed that every second in our life was precious.

And that's why my family had been on top of my priorities, it was my happiness. And when you were lucky enough to find that small piece of heaven, you could never ask for more.

Everyone has their own piece of heaven, but many people choose to ignore it, because it's far from being the shiny happiness they were expecting.

Enough philosophy!

I was in my kitchen, I like to call it my lab, preparing the dinner, and smiling for those teenagers' voices in my head. It was Thursday, my day off, and I had plenty of time to watch a nice movie, read a paranormal book, or write about an alternative me. Writing was my sanctuary, where I can embrace my dark side without shame.

After the daily family time in the afternoon, It came the IPad time: my own personal time. And I had plenty of it, since I didn't  need more than three hours of sleeping.

I was jumping between many websites, when it popped to my mind yesterday's discussion with Osi. And I laughed at the surprise he showed the moment he knew that I was a mother in my late thirties. But sadness rushed to my heart, and suppressed that laugh, when I remembered one of his texts.

"I'm already dead inside . . . so who cares"

The mother instinct began manifesting inside me, he wasn't older than some of my students. so, I opened my Facebook to find a hey message.

I replied, and it went the same as the day before. We were speaking about hobbies, dreams, and the sleep disorder we both shared. But I needed to find that spot, the one covered and hidden deep inside his heart, to put my hand on the origin of his wounds.

The problem was in how to make him confess his pain, which was the first step in a thousand-miles road. I wasn't that close to him for he could open his heart to me. To ask for someone's trust without giving yours, was the most selfish thing to do, and I wasn't that so selfish person.

Well, sometimes I am.

And walking inside a teenager's brain wasn't that difficult for me, I did it for hundreds of times with my students. So, I tried my best shot. Sometimes we confess our deepest secrets to strangers we believe that we would never see them again.

"Come on Osi, you asked me yesterday to be your first friend here, and I accepted..I'm just your crazy older sister, and I'm living on the other side of the world.. Why don't you try to speak freely?"

I waited. . . I prayed . . .

Please, please, please Osi... help me ... so I can help you...

After the longest minutes of my waiting and his hesitation:

"if you say freely then right now im a fucked up teenager im messed up in everything in life till now nobody likes me i dont have any real friend here its just im a mess :,,,,(   ".

It was as if he shoved a dagger into my heart, and I felt that hot stream on my cheeks.